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Children targeted marketing can have several disadvantages, but it should't be completely banned

Ngoc Lucia 1 / -  
Aug 2, 2020   #1

Advertising aimed at children

Modern day, a number of advertising aimed at young children and some people said that it should be forbidden. While marketing can have several disadvantage under pressure under children. I believe it should not be completely banned.

On the one hand, commercials aimed at children can have damaging impact, particularly on the relationship between parents and their children. A large of children are easily manipulated to want things they see in advertisement such as television, social website and the like and this may cause disagree between parents and their love children. If their parents deny children of something they want resulting in their children will hate parent. Moreover, advertising purposed at young children can have negative effects on their health, as fast food and junk food companies had utilized well many marketing strategies toward children. Therefore, children are easily persuaded to purchase these unhealthy food and as consequence, can be risk of many severest diseases such as cancer, obesity and the like.

On the other hand, I think that advertising aimed at children should not be absolutely banned because it plays important role in economy companies and a country. For instance, if government enact a ban on advertising aimed at children, a large of products companies will be sold and goods will be taken consider into. In addition, many companies will slide down about a decreases in sales and profits, finally unemployment rates and economy. A number of workers are doing in marketing field, may become unemployed and resulting in the government will be provide temporary financial support for those unemployed people.

In conclusion, although advertising aimed at children bring negative affects regarding brain children, family relationship and health, Should not be banned completely because of unreasonable problems.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,647 3480  
Aug 2, 2020   #2
Your essay suffers from a lack of clarity in the presentation. Your discussions tend to be composed of incomplete sentences that lack subjects and proper references that would have helped you present clear and complete thought processes in the presentation. Your reasoning is also flawed as you used a comparative discussion for a single opinion essay.

The first paragraph is related to the discussion but severely lacks in cohesiveness and coherence. You need to do more sentence development exercises. At this point, you cannot even construct a proper simple sentence. That will adversely affect your GRA score in an actual test. Improve that ability before you try to write another essay.

Your second paragraph diverges from the discussion of the effect of advertising on children to focus on the problems the lack of advertising will create. That is a topic that is unrelated to the original discussion. The focus should remain on the effect of advertising on children, not the effect of lack of advertising for children on the industry. You changed the discussion target. This means, your essay is not really responding to the prompt discussion. Expect additional points deductions for that problem as well. Added up, the grammar problems, lack of clarity in the discussion, and improperly formatted responses will result in a failing essay for you.

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