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IELTS - Children taught to be good members of society; from a child to adult



phatz025 3 / 6  
Feb 15, 2013   #1
Topic: Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Young people are influenced by a vast amount of things that surround them as they grow. Majority of us believe that parents, in particular, are ones to shape and mold their young's to become active participants of our society. While others believe that school plays a major part in that process. In my opinion, the work should be done by the three participants involve: the parents, the school, and by the child himself.

From infancy to pre-school, children's first contact are their parents. Children learn fast by mere listening and visualizing. They even don't have the slightest idea to whether what they see and hear is right or wrong, so this is where parents come into picture. In fact, this time period is the best opportunity for parents to portray the best image they can be for their child. For example, parents are to teach their sons and daughters to be kind and respectful of others. This value encompasses a good moral conduct.

Differing environments create variances and flexibility in child's learning. The influence of teachers and peers greatly attributes to the development to that of the child. By age 6 onwards, half of the day is spent in school with classmates, group of friends, teachers and so on. Teachers are known to be the "second parents", and thus this stage is basically where the foundation taught by the "first" parents is to continue along. Second parents teach their students varying courses to which a child may find interest with and must encourage them to excel and strive for more.

However, a young child will not stay young forever. There will come to a point that a decision may have to be made by himself. A decision that may affect not just himself, but also others. This decision that encompasses all, from everything that was taught and learned from the beginning to childhood unto the present time.

Mabossani 6 / 13  
Feb 15, 2013   #2
I think you should give your appreciation after discussing the two views.
"are ones to shape and mold their young's to become " instead of young's you can write offspring
dumi 1 / 6793  
Feb 16, 2013   #3
Young people are influenced bya vast amount ofmany things that surround them as they grow.

Majority of us believe that parents, in particular, are the ones to shape and mold their young's to become active participants of our society.

Better use the word " some" because your topic too mentions it like that. That is safer :) When you say "majority", you are sort of committing yourself to defend this claim :D ... Also align your sentences as much as possible with the prompt :)

Some of us believe that it is the parents who should be more responsible of teaching their children to be good members of the society.

While others believe that school plays a majorpartrole in that process

In my opinion, the work should be done by the three participants involve: the parents, the school, and by the child himself.

... great idea :)
In my opinion, this is a responsibility of not only both the parents and school, but also the child himself.
carito15 4 / 5  
Feb 25, 2013   #4
I really like your essay, most of the grammar or spelling mistakes that I noticed, were already corrected by the previous comments. As regards the organization or structure of the essay it is quite well! And the paragraphs are balanced!


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