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Cinema, Theatre, Zoo, Library. Popular Places for Different People in Australia (IELTS TASK I)


mujahid_fadli 16 / 3 6  
Nov 18, 2015   #1
A breakdown of the percentage of native residents and immigrants settle in Australia who visit four selected attractive places is presented in the bar graph. Overall, more new migrants born in other nations prefer go to Cinema. Although new migrants born in the English language countries do not keen to have Theatre as popular destination, the locals born in Australia prefer to visit Cinema.

At 70%, the number of fresh migrants born in other countries go to Cinema, but this figure plummeted to 20% for Theatre purposes. However, those people also pose more attract behavior when they go to Zoo as much 40% visitors, and almost 40% migrants visit Library.

Similar with this pattern, new migrants born in English-speaking countries also make Cinema as favorite places at about 65% attendances, and this proportion show at less than three times in Theatre visitors.

In contrast, unlike other type of migrants, Library is the best choice for new migrants born in other countries at 55% visitors, but this figure recorded five times less in Theatre.




Zahra ahmad 2 / 8 2  
Nov 18, 2015   #2
Greetings!

There's a large number of writing mistakes in your writing, so i have made another one for you. I tried to make it similar as much as i could to yours. I really hope you'll like it! :)

A decline in the percentage of visiting four well-known places in Australia by people who live there, whether they are natives or immigrants. One can notice this decrease in the attached bar chart. Yet, some new migrants who were born in other nations prefer to go to cinema. Furthermore, new English migrants are not keen to go to theater as a favorite destination, but most Australians prefer to visit cinema.

At 70%, one can see that the most foreign migrants go to cinema. In contrast, it is only 20% for theater visits. In addition, those people also seem to be attracted about going to zoo (40% visitors). Similarly, library is.

As it is clear in the chart, new English migrants also consider cinema as their favorite place at about 65% attendances. This proportion shows that theater visits are less by three times.

Unlike the other types of migrants, library is considered as the best choice for new foreign migrants (55% visitors), but this figure recorded five times less in theater.


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