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in many cities, people these days know little about their neighbors and lack a sense of community.



jenny_0507 1 / -  
Jun 11, 2024   #1
Social coherence is a significant concern in many contemporary societies. Some people contend that currently investing the amount of time to connect and interact with neighborhoods is reducing due to several possible reasons. In this essay, I will discover some factors affecting this phenomenon and discuss plausible solutions to address this issue.

There are multiple reasons contributing to the proliferation of detachment in some regions, especially metropolises, for example due to the high volume of work and academic performance. Obviously, living in bustle and hustle cities, people will unconsciously get involved in repeated working and studying circles to achieve a certain achievement in their career path and academic outcomes. This results in the excessive amount of time allocated for workplaces and other educational institutions rather than in their dwellings and triggers them gradually playdown the importance of neighborhoods than other potential forces. Furthermore, the sense of insecurity also plays a pivotal role in promoting people to keep distance with their neighbors because of the increase in number of immigrants and migrants which stimulates the development of social evils and other urgent social issues. Therefore, remaining the specific distance with those settling in the neighborhood serves as a way of self-protection and deference.

However, there are some persuasive solutions supporting the public to socialize with each other. Firstly, some collective activities or local competitions should be incentivized and organized periodically in area, creating the opportunities for reconnection and understanding of inhabitants living in the same areas as well as lessening the anxiety and pressure about the security in regions among people. Furthermore, individuals should be aware of the importance of neighbor interaction since it offers various beneficial impacts such as maintaining cultural and traditional value in several countries and communicating with others also helps them to recharge their energy after a hectic day at workplace and school.

In conclusion, there is still a controversial topic about people gradually emerge hesitate in contacting with other people in their neighborhood and some factors are stated to explain explicitly about this notion such as due to the achievement pursuit in working and studying performances or originally deriving from the sense of insecurity. However, some possible solutions are also mentioned to address this issue. For example, local authorities are able to periodically organize some local competitions to enhance the coherence among dwellers in their areas or each individual should be conscious about the vital role of neighborhood in societies

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15384  
Jun 12, 2024   #2
The essay is simply too long for a 40 minute writing task. You need to learn to write in a concise and coherent manner. This sort of writing will not be achievable during the actual test, under time pressure. You are lengthening your discussions for no reason. Your over extended discussion forced you to create what is an empty essay that is only full of words, but without actual sense or benefit to the reader. Your opening statement alone was incorrectly formatted and devoid of a properly developed writer's opinion. Do not believe people who are telling you that you just have to write a long essay, using as many English words as possible, to pass the test. That is the most assured way of failing the test.


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