The community can come from villages or cities. The range of community can be determined on their environment. For the example is small community which has advantage and negative impact for their area.
Firstly, the advantage of small community is everyone who know everyone else. It can build some spirit to help other people solving many problems, such as building project on school, mosque, or irrigation systems. Secondly, the other advantage is giving fast respon to other people when there are many problems in community.
Different to advantage aspect, the small community also has negative impact or disadvantage. It can be looking for information receiving for the example. In technology and information era, we cant't leave any information because the information had been main necessary in our life. We can update always about what happen today in our place or another place with another culture too. The information can be gotten from our community. If the range of community is small so our information that we got less information too. Finally we cant't increase our knowledge else. The feature of information can be come from large community than small community, because it has many information to sharing on another person in this community.
In the conclusion is the small community can give positive and negative influence to our self. The choice based on our self to join in small community or not, because it can be determine the future life too.
Hello, below are some my comments. :))
1. ...... advantage and negative impact for their area -> In my opinion, using positive and negative is better.
2. .....help other people solving many problems -> help so do/ to do sth
3. ....the other advantageis giving fast respon -> is to giving
4. Different to advantage aspect -> in contrast
5. We can always update about what happens today
6. ... it has many information to share on
7. In the conclusion
isthe small community.....
8. The choice based on our self (...) it can be determined the future life too.
Hi Yuri, I believe this is the first time that I'll be reviewing your essay and this is your first here on Essay Forum too,I would like to WELCOME you to the Essay Forum team, here, we strive to provide you with the most accurate feedback and even more useful suggestions that will enhance your article and any writing project for that matter.
Having said that, please find a few suggestions for your essay.
TheA community can come ...
- The range of community can be determined based on their environment.
For theAn example is a small community
which hasthat can either have an advantage
negative impact for theirdisadvantage in the area.
ly , the advantage of a small community
- is that everyone
who knows everyone else.
- other people
solvingsolve many problems,
SecondlyNext , the other advantage is
givingproviding fast response to
- other people when there are
many problems in the community.
There you have it Yuri, as you can see, your essay can definitely be enhanced and I hope you follow through with the revision. I left a few more sentences for you to try your skills in editing or what they call proof reading, believe me, this will help you see your writing in a totally different level.Keep writing!
hi yurikeyuri these are my thought towards your essay
firstly, please give a space between the paragraph.
... can be determined
onby their environment.
... small community is everyone
who know everyone else.
... to help other people
solvingto solve many problems
... the small community also has negative impact or disadvantage.
[just write one, it would be better as it has same meaning ]
...It can be
lookinglooked for information ...
[this sentence idea is difficult to understand]
cant'tCANNOT leave any information
update alwaysalways update about what happen todaynowadays in our place or anotherother places with anotherother cultures too.
cant'tCANNOT increase our knowledge else.
...because it has
manyMUCHinformation to sharingshare onwith anotherother person in this community
...In the conclusion
is, the small community ...
thanks, keep writing and good luck
... to help other people FOR solving many problems...
Secondly, the other
advantagebenefit is giving fast respon ... Different to advantage aspect,Apart from several merit effects, the small (...) impact or disadvantage. It can be lookinglooked for information receiving for the example. In technology and information era,In this modern era we cant'tcan not leave any information because since the information had been the main necessary in our life.
Therefore, If the range of community is small ...
cant'tcan not increase our knowledge else.
... information can be
come came from large community (...) it has manymuch information to ... In the conclusionAs a result, it is the small community ...
... small community or not,
becauseas it can be determined the future life too.
1. please consider your active and passive sentence
2. just try to replace because with another word : As, since or just try to make with another form (due to, because of)...
3. It should be good to write can not insted of can't since you learn to write academic writing