Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Some claim that computer games are beneficial for children, while others don't share this opinion



Giansy11 18 / 30  
Oct 23, 2016   #1
Some people think that online computer game is useful for children, while others claim is bad. What are advantages and disadvantages of online computer game for children?

Online games are one of the popular games these days. Some claim that it is beneficial for children while others are not in this notion. Playing computer-based games can encourage children's creativity and soft-skill this is also probable to wonder children concentration in studying.

Children who usually play online computer games have a tendency to be genius person. Firstly, online games commonly use English language as the main language to communicate with other users; it can affect its user to be more able in foreign language. Secondly, by applying most modern technology, online game can attract gamer's imagination inside the games and make them becoming active person. Thirdly, level of difficulty can encourage their brainstorm to find out the way so solve every problem. Thus, it is evident that creativity and soft-skill of gamers cannot call into doubt when children get engaged in games.

Despite these advantages, some users become addicted when playing games and ignore other activities as their obligatory such study. Spending much time on games has affected student concentration when they are at school. For instance, coc as war clan game strongly influence its user to often check and play the game even when the lesson runs. Thus, it is true that internet-based game break children concentration in studying.

In conclusion, it is clearly that the possible of online games are more significant than potential drawback as long as children can manage their playing time properly.

fadhilmd25 41 / 71  
Oct 23, 2016   #2
Dear Gian, here are some advices for your writing, feel free to correct my responses,

some users become addicted when ... -->
some users can get addicted when playing games continuously, and they may obligate game activities to ignore essential activity, such as, study

coc as war clan game strongly influence its user ... -->
Online games, for instance, Clash of Clans, strongly influence gamer to continuously access the game even if they are in the middle of the class.

Thus, it is true that internet-based game ... -->
Therefore, it is undoubtedly that internet-based game reducing children focus during their studies.

Hope it helps you to improve your writing skills,

Regards
Ruslan55 3 / 12  
Oct 24, 2016   #3
Dear Gian,
from the beginning I am not sure what the main goal of the article is. The same feeling I have about the conclusion. Could you specify the main idea of the article and the topic?

Based on that, may be you should try to go deeper? For example, add some statistic or questionaire results to show why one or another side has this opinion as for now it is too briefly


Home / Writing Feedback / Some claim that computer games are beneficial for children, while others don't share this opinion
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳