Hello Miss Ba'da..
These are a few suggestions to finalize your essay.
You have to remember that Internet always pairs with article THE because it is only one in the world.The Internet
this statement. Owing to the fact that ...this statement owing to the fact that not all people can access the Internet.
This essay states that totally disagree with this statement
In the thesis statement, you stated that you totally disagree. However, you experienced contradiction in the first body paragraph.
internet is a sophisticated technology that makes people easier ...
You never mentioned that you agree for some of case. The disagreement was displayed clearly so that I am surprised when you explain the benefit of the internet. Besides that, you are supposed to concentrate on prompts. You should review why constructing the library does not waste money. unfortunately, your flow is not enough good. You directly stated that
So, it can lose much money if someone want to build a library.
but you tended to explain the Internet without mentioning the library in previous sentences.
Turning to the second paragraph, you have touched the prompt. You elucidated that some roles of the library can be not replaced by the Internet. However, you reread your sentences to make you sure what you write is what in your mind. For example,
the internet because connection of internet is ...the internet because not all people in varied areas can access on the Internet well.Keep writing