Unanswered [2]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 14


( IELTS essay) college degree is less valuable now compared to the past?



joythblessy 86 / 266  
Dec 26, 2012   #1
Is a college degree is less valuable or respected now than it was in the past?

A university degree is universally accepted as the document of one's knowledge in depth. However, many people feel that the value of a college degree is diminished now, while others oppose. In this essay, I will explain why I feel that universities are not devaluated.

To begin with, education is a golden key to prosperity. In this age of economic recession, university degrees are vital to get a decent job. Increased levels of education will open the doors of opportunities for students. They can take a profession of their choice, and enjoy doing it, instead of being forced to take a low waged job that they dislike. Besides, a university degree is not just a key to job opportunities, but an answer to personal development. People become more independent, creative and bold. A gainful employment is the basic of a financial stability and can provide a better life for their family and dependents. Thus, their living status and self-satisfaction will increase.

Apparently, education means getting to know and understand yourself and the world. The more educated people, the better the world will be. As they know their rights and duties, they will be an asset to the country. Another point is that, educated workers are not only productive but also attract foreign investment. Most importantly, education is an investment for the future. Presently, many countries are allocating a large portion of their budget for education hold testimony to this view. Moreover, every successful company seeks for employers who have university degree since a college degree serves as a proof that the individual has a good amount of learning ability. Furthermore, people need to learn new skills and courses in order to stay in the workforce of this rapidly changing world.

In conclusion, university degree not only provides deeper knowledge, but also plays an important role in the personal and economic progress. I personally feel, in this age of globalization and liberalization, the value of university degrees are surging day by day, and it will continue in the future too.

ieltsessay01 - / 3  
Dec 26, 2012   #2
you are failed to give explanation for the points included in the body paragraphs. Also there are so many points in a paragraph. The another thing is the question is regarding the value of university degree compared to past, but your essay is about the benefits of university degree.
OP joythblessy 86 / 266  
Dec 26, 2012   #3
hai
Jinoop...

I will be greatful to you if you would pointed out me, which are those points i failed to explain..

Thanks..
Tessy
ieltsessay01 - / 3  
Dec 26, 2012   #4
In this age of economic reccession its difficult to get a decent job. Why? How it connects with given question? You can explain this in this way. In these age of economic recession its hard to find a job without excellent qualifications . Infact employers often seek for candidates with higher degrees. People are well aware of this fact and that is why many ttoday are intrested in getting a degree from reputed universities.

Please excuse spelling mistakes. M usng a mobile.
OP joythblessy 86 / 266  
Dec 26, 2012   #5
hai Jinoop...

Thanks for clarification...
Thanks for the sentance...

I want to tell you tell you humbly that..i wrote...

In this age of economic crisis, university degree is vital to get a decent job.

In this sentance i explanined todays condition...: that is comparison with the past..
university degrees are vital..: the importance of university degrees today

I hope that is the answer which question demands...

Please read twice....

Thanks for your time..
I too using mobile and i know how difficult to comment one essay..

Thanks..

Tessy...
ieltsessay01 - / 3  
Dec 27, 2012   #6
Its k. Everytime you ask three questions to the main point you write. Why? What? And how? . The answer for all these questions must be there in the following sentences.
OP joythblessy 86 / 266  
Dec 27, 2012   #7
Hai Dumi...

Can you give a clear guidence about jinoop's comment...

I am including more points in my essay because, if the same question will repeate in the real exam even a part if it, the forum members can write at least two points..thats why i am giving more ideas to others.

In my personal experiences, i found all my previous exam questions in this forum.i really repend that, i joined the forum late..

Thanks...

Tessy..
dumi 1 / 6793  
Dec 28, 2012   #8
However, many people feel that the value of a college degree is diminished now, while others oppose.

However, many people feel that the value of the college degree is diminishing now while others hold a different view.

In conclusion, university degree not only provides deeper knowledge, but also plays an important role in the personal and economic progress.

... this is not a good sentence. Your idea is not presented in a rationale way. You need to tell us how the degree is important for economic progress.... Seems like pretty weak sentence :(
dumi 1 / 6793  
Dec 28, 2012   #9
Sorry Joythblessy,
While I was typing my comment above, something happened and it got half cut :(
I have a few more things to tell you;

In this age of economic recession, university degrees are vital to get a decent job.

This sentence does not sound rationale as an idea. You need to justify your idea by saying how this happens : (

Increased levels of education will open the doors of opportunities for students.

.... you need to be more specific .... this too sounds not so logical :(

I'd like you to do this essay again and post it. You can write well, but you need to come up with logical arguments !
OP joythblessy 86 / 266  
Dec 28, 2012   #10
hai dumi...

Thankyou so much...
I am not at all satisfied with this essay personally..
. I already wrote another essay with opposite view. I thought i will post it after your comment..
Thanks once again..
Tessy,
falks405 4 / 9  
Dec 28, 2012   #11
I think would be nice if you put some introduce sentences firstly coz It will clearfy what the main point your essay.
yes, try to work with structure and keep in mind that it's a good make a plan before you're going to write essay
OP joythblessy 86 / 266  
Dec 28, 2012   #12
Hai Leo..

Thanks for spending your time and corrections for my essay..

Tessy
dumi 1 / 6793  
Dec 30, 2012   #13
University degrees are considered as status symbols.

This sounds a bit controversial :) University degrees are definitely helpful to upgrade someone's social status, but they symbolize one's academic credentials than status.

Some people believe that it is continuing the still

.... This has grammar issues;
Some people believe that this trend still continues.

but so many people argue that the value of college degree is dropped.

..., but others argue that they do not add much to one's social status anymore.
OP joythblessy 86 / 266  
Dec 30, 2012   #14
Hai Dumi...

Thanks a lot...
Tessy


Home / Writing Feedback / ( IELTS essay) college degree is less valuable now compared to the past?
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳