Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

Why college or university? To acquire a new knowledge and prepare for a future career - IELTS


NourNour 22 / 39 7  
Dec 24, 2015   #1
TOEFL Independent Task 1

Q:
People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Attending a university or a college has a great influence on shaping people's future. People pursue their studies at university or college for many reasons. In my view, the two main reasons are acquiring new knowledge and preparing themselves for their future career.

First, people attend university or college in order to increase their knowledge. People can be specialized in a specific field of study of their own choice by attending university or college. For example, in my case, after passing my baccalaureate exam, I have chosen computer science major to purse my undergraduate studies at university. By attending this course, I have learned a lot about computers and their architectures. I have also got familiar with numerous softwares. Moreover, I have programmed an application as a part of my graduation. I will never achieve these accomplishments if I did not join a university.

Second, people go to university or college to prepare themselves for their future career. The knowledge that they acquire at university or college they will exploit in real life situations in their jobs. For instance, after my graduation, I worked at a private school as a teacher of computer science. During my work, I taught my students how computers work and how to use them. I was also responsible on the state of computers, so whenever computers got damaged I fixed them. Studying at university has crafted my career.

To sum up, people attend university or college to increase their knowledge which they will use later in their future careers.

eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Dec 24, 2015   #2
Attending a university or a college [...] themselves for their future career .

University is a prestigious place where people study higher. As such, it is argued that there are many reasons why people go to such a place. Some people prefer attending university for the sake of knowledge. In my opinion, university helps people prepare for future career.

To sum up, people attend university or college to increase their knowledge which they will use later in their future careers.

Well, one sentence is not enough to cover what should be in the concluding paragraph. At least, you need three sentences. A closer look at my sample below:

In conclusion, people have different reasons why they are keen to attend university. While some people argue that university is the best place to gain in-depth knowledge, it is claimed that university prepares students for future of global development. It is imperative that dire consequences as university students should be taken into considerations
OP NourNour 22 / 39 7  
Dec 25, 2015   #3
Thank you for your remarks. I really appreciate them.


Home / Writing Feedback / Why college or university? To acquire a new knowledge and prepare for a future career - IELTS