TOEFL - 'colleges and universities provide the best conditions for students to gain knowledge'

People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences,
career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

I will take toefl tests next week. so can you please score my essay?

Cuong is one of the most famous educators in Viet Nam once said that: " attending colleges or universities is the best way to change one's life, because colleges and universities provide the best conditions for students to gain knowledge, improve soft skills, and prepare for a better career path". In my opinion, I do completely agree with his statement.

First of all, people attend colleges and universities, since they would like to gain more knowledge about science, economics, society, environment, etc. It is true that colleges and universities teach students a great number of subjects relating to science, environment, economics, society such as microeconomics, environmental management, economic environment, science, and so on. These subjects enable students to gain deeper understanding about the world and the society where they are in.

Another reason for people getting higher education is for soft skills. It is obvious that employers now need good quality employees who possess soft skills not need robots. So, more and more universities tend to teach students in soft skills such as time management, solving-problem skills, presentation skill, excel skills to name a few which will help students to become better job hunters. Therefore, students get higher education because they desire to improve soft skills.

The third reason for attending colleges and universities is to prepare for a better career path. It is a degree that will make a postgraduate occupy a good job vacancy in an easy way. My brother is good example of this case, he graduated from National Economics University of Viet Nam and then easily he found a well-paid job in Investment and Development Company. Hence, attending universities lays a good foundation and will be a precursor for successful career path in the future.

In conclusion, people love to get higher education because universities and colleges provide very good conditions to enrich knowledge about science, economics, society etc, develop soft skills and prepare for a better career path. In my view, the government should invest more money in university education systems to encourage people participate in universities. Only by doing this does the quality of workforce increase.

Hi ! Here's my suggestions. Good luck on your TOEFL. Mine is in next week,too.
Cuong is , one of the most famous educators in Viet Nam, once said that:

Second paragraph is too long-winded and have unnecessary words.

So, it's better to change it " To start with, people attend colleges and universities because institutions allow them to gain more knowledge and experience about various fields such as science, economics, society, environment and so on. Universities divide those fields into many subjects to instruct their students to become more specified professionals in the future.

It is obvious that employers now need good quality employees who possess soft skills not need robots. Nowadays, employers seek ambitious and trustworthy workers with soft skills rather than working hands.

Therefore, students get higher education because they have the aspiration to improve their soft skills.
Being a good example for this case, my brother have graduated from National Economics University of Viet Nam
Hence, attending universities lays a good foundation and will be a precursor for a successful career path in the future.

In my view, the government should invest more money in university education systems to encourage people to enroll in universities.

Good Luck

This is very well-written. Yet, the first sentence is too long. I suggest that you'd better break this into two-three sentences.
Attending college provides ample opportunities. As seen, some people devote themselves to college education so as to gain more deep insights, while others claim that this place is bound to develop one's practical study. Therefore, I would argue that above all, college aims to prepare students for a successful career path

hope this helps, eddy suaib.

you get a big thank from me. eddies and eegii012