Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


The common people's live is very interesting. Media for Celebrities or Ordinary People?



ifraanisa05 44 / 67  
Oct 26, 2016   #1
The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationship of celebrities such as actors, singers, or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The media such as television and radio usually shows daily life and love life of celebrities such as actors, singers, or footballers. Actually, they should take a time to report the ordinary people's life too. I believe that ordinary people have the interesting life to publish because they have many inspirational stories like celebrities. But, the celebrities lives are more important than ordinary people because they have influenced other people through their job as public figure since many years before.

However, there are ordinary people who media should report because of their achievement or their interesting lives. They can give the positive impact to people who watched them. For example, the ordinary person named Fatia Izzaty. She has come from ordinary family but her family is always using English languange every day so that she can speak fluently. Because of her English, she can contribute to youthex in other countries. If her stories show in media, many people will inspire from her stories and can be a role model for many families to adapt her way become a great person even she is an ordinary person

On the other hand, public figures such as actors, singers, or footballers are more important to media because their job appears on television every day. Many people have watched them so that media pay too much attention to them because people who had seen them want to know about their lives. For instance, Maudy Ayunda who become a singer since high school usually has appeared in media not only because of their achievement as a public figure but also her inspiring life as a student of oxford university. As a result, she can inspire people because she has known as a public figure and has many achievements in life. People more concern about people they know than other people who hey did not know

In conclusion, media should pay attention to ordinary people who have the interesting lives so that people can take the lesson of them. But, the celebrities lives are more important because of their job as a public figure and most of people have influenced by their activities since they have been known.

chikomm16 5 / 12  
Oct 26, 2016   #2
In the second paragraph

... for many families to adapt her way (to) become a great ...

Well, you have discussed about both party in your essay. Both to what degree should they be reported in the media?
badafebriani17 34 / 41  
Oct 27, 2016   #3
Hi. this is my suggestion.

For instance, Maudy Ayunda who become a singer (...) not only because of their achievement as a public figure but also her inspiring life ...

you has mentioned a person before, but why you use pronoun "their" for subject [Maudy]. may it should be "her"
her inspiring---> it better if you change with "she"
of oxford university ---> it better if you use preposition "at/in"
use conjunction to connect your sentence (if has more than one clause)
usually--->better you use present tense

e.g: For instance, Maudy Ayunda who become a singer since (she) (was) (in) high school (and) (she) usually (appearances) in media(,) not only because of (her) achievement as a public figure(,) but also (she) inspiring life as a student (at) oxford university.

good luck


Home / Writing Feedback / The common people's live is very interesting. Media for Celebrities or Ordinary People?
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳