Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it.
An interesting place in our school was "the lab," a shadow community without a defined name or purpose. Every day, behind the closed door, students gathered in this computer lab to play videogames, vanquishing evils on the big screen monitors. In nature, "the lab" was a social gathering, a place no different than the lunchroom; however, this was a special place where jocks, techies, and skaters alike all crowded around to watch a YouTube video, a forum filled with discussions that let us shed the black-and-white image we exuded outside.
Throughout the year, the lab and its members had given me a sense of belonging, constantly being encouraging and supportive. Realizing the tremendous impact the lad had on me, I wondered about my role in this small community. In fact, did anyone had a role? After much contemplation, I realized that the lab did not exactly fit into the mold of a traditional community, thus its members still had their own distinctive roles, one not defined by any official titles or positions. In here, no one was the "charismatic team captain," but a person became a hero by simply bringing an extra controller. Throughout my school years, I have been in multiple leadership positions, but those positions were never deemed to be superior to "the girl who brought soda on Tuesday" or "the last required game player." Although I couldn't proclaimed to have made any significant impact or lifelong friends, I knew that my small role had helped contribute to the awesome experiences in the lab. It was these interactions that prompted the casual "What's up" when we passed each others in the hallway, even after the lab no longer existed. (281 words)
Trying to cut down some words and improved the flow. Any suggestion would be greatly appreciated.
Critique me, and I'll return the favor. Thanks for reading!
An interesting place in our school was "the lab," a shadow community without a defined name or purpose. Every day, behind the closed door, students gathered in this computer lab to play videogames, vanquishing evils on the big screen monitors. In nature, "the lab" was a social gathering, a place no different than the lunchroom; however, this was a special place where jocks, techies, and skaters alike all crowded around to watch a YouTube video, a forum filled with discussions that let us shed the black-and-white image we exuded outside.
Throughout the year, the lab and its members had given me a sense of belonging, constantly being encouraging and supportive. Realizing the tremendous impact the lad had on me, I wondered about my role in this small community. In fact, did anyone had a role? After much contemplation, I realized that the lab did not exactly fit into the mold of a traditional community, thus its members still had their own distinctive roles, one not defined by any official titles or positions. In here, no one was the "charismatic team captain," but a person became a hero by simply bringing an extra controller. Throughout my school years, I have been in multiple leadership positions, but those positions were never deemed to be superior to "the girl who brought soda on Tuesday" or "the last required game player." Although I couldn't proclaimed to have made any significant impact or lifelong friends, I knew that my small role had helped contribute to the awesome experiences in the lab. It was these interactions that prompted the casual "What's up" when we passed each others in the hallway, even after the lab no longer existed. (281 words)
Trying to cut down some words and improved the flow. Any suggestion would be greatly appreciated.
Critique me, and I'll return the favor. Thanks for reading!