Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


IELTS Writing Task 2 - People lived in small villages or big cities


Ilmi_03 47 / 69 11  
May 23, 2016   #1
In the past most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in small community?

These days most people tend to live in a big town and become more individual. While in few years ago they lived in countryside where they allows residents to interact each others in their neighbourhood. Although living in the small community has some drawbacks, I believe that those who settle in the village will receive more benefits.

On one hand, I agree that living in the rural area brings some difficulties related with insufficient accessibility. The circle of advanced technology only reach the village over a long time period. Thus, resident will face some troubles to connect with their families or relations in the other regions. For example, I have an interesting story while I was a student in the university. After finished the 1st semester examination, some of my friends decides to go home earlier and would complete their administration after the vacation. Though there was a long remain time. Unfortunately, while they spend an enjoyable holiday in their village, the university authority decided to change the deadline of administration. I could not make a call to them, though there is not a sufficient network in the village. As the consequence, approximately a tenth of my classmates could not have lecture for that semester. Thus, it is evident that a poor of communication in rural area can impede our activities.

However, I believed that people who live in small village will receive a great number of benefits. Firstly, they able to interact each other, thus create a friendly environment. Residents are not reluctant to ask for a help with their neighbourhood. Furthermore, this atmosphere can enhance human life quality. People will not be involved in daily problem, as they have become a family. Moreover, sharing knowledge in small group community can improve their comprehension and make a great impact to environment.

In conclusion, while living in the small village certainly has negative effects, I believe that positive impacts outweight all those bad sides.
Novi 7 / 6 1  
May 25, 2016   #2
hi nurul, glad to read your essay, gere are some sugestions for you

specifically for your introduction :
These days (optional words: recently, currently, nowadays) most people tend to live in a big town (base on dictionary, there is the difference betwen town and city, It would be better to use city or "urban") and become more individual.

Although living in the small community ( In my opinion small community not really describe small town, optional word : small town, rural area) has some drawbacks, I believe ...

and for your summary

In conclusion(alternative word: in brief, to sum up) while living in the small (...) outweight all those bad sides (demerit/ weakness)

It is better to improve your pharaprase word, cheer and keep on writing


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2 - People lived in small villages or big cities
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳