Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


Companies should actively recruit younger employees who have greater potential to learn



kuan446697 1 / -  
Nov 20, 2017   #1
It is widely believed that people's ability to learn new things decreases with age and that company should actively recruit younger employees who have greater potential to learn. To what extent to you agree or disagree with this opinion ?

YOUNGER AGED EMPLOYEE



The issue of whether companies should recruit employees aged relatively younger instead of older member of staffs has been widely discussed over the past few years. Notwithstanding the arguments ventilated by proponents that senior workers generally have a greater sense of responsibility in comparison to junior workers, I personally hold the belief that youthful employees should in fact be actively recruited. Two of the principal reason for this are as follows.

To begin with, the advances in science and technology have diametrically revolutionized our working environment since the occurrence of industrialization, and it is important to recognize that increasingly large numbers of work-related inventions and great amount of knowledge have been introduced. Thus, possessing the capability of absorbing new ideas or savvy and readjusting for a new condition is no doubt an intrinsic element for our present workforce. For all practical purposes, younger employees appear to fulfill both of the criterias I mentioned while the older ones fail to satisfy those requirements according to a social experiment conducted by experts from related fields.

Further and even more importantly, no one can deny that the older human beings grow, the worse their abilities of recollection and physical condition become. In other words, intelligence and health are in inverse relation to mankind's age. While advocates of senior employees might not share the sentiment by pointing out the fact that the elders have exclusive attributes that perform an important function in a workplace and therefore can make more contributions to the workforce, there is mounting evidence indicating younger employees can simply acquire the identical qualities as well as abilities in a short amount of time.

By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that recruiting younger employees has a great impact on companies because of the scientific proofscorroborated be relevant researched and the trend of our society.

chinkybehl22 10 / 24  
Nov 20, 2017   #2
Overall good read.

However the introduction should paraphrase the topic along with your opinion.
In this essay, you have started the discussion in the introduction itself which should not be an ideal case to fetch good scores.

Nowadays, companies should hire young people who have a zeal to learn new things. As it is observed that the learning abilities of the individuals decreases with age. I completely agree with this statement because of the following reasons.

Hope this helps.
keneshuku 4 / 7  
Nov 21, 2017   #3
@kuan446697
Hi, This is a really interesting topic. I'm guessing this is for IELTS
I have to agree with @chinkybehl22

Don't be confused

"To what extent do you agree or disagree" is no different from the regular "do you agree or disagree". You will be writing an argument essay. If writing your IELTS, you should choose either to agree or disagree (not both)

This is some stuff I saw online ..I think you should stick to one side 100% to get more marks. state which side you're on in P1 and then from P2 to P3 talk about why you align with this side. P4 has to be a strong closing summarizing all your points

Hope this helps
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15393  
Nov 21, 2017   #4
@kuan446697 your line of reasoning in the essay is faulty. You have not appropriately defended your first line of reasoning in the second paragraph because you indicated that the older people cannot satisfy the requirements based upon social experiments. You did not indicate what experiments these were, who conducted it, and what the results were. Therefore, your line of reasoning is incomplete. This will lower your C&C score tremendously. That is why it is of the utmost importance that only publicly known information be shared as evidence in these essays. When you do not have time to accurately defend a line of reason, you will lose in the C&C scoring section. You should not have included such a reference in order to have kept the paragraph strong. This also made your concluding statement hearsay and without merit. Hence, the essay will get a low score due to questionable arguments.


Home / Writing Feedback / Companies should actively recruit younger employees who have greater potential to learn
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳