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TOEFL A/D: Companies should use money to reward their employees rather than use public recognition


happyhappy120 1 / -  
Aug 30, 2014   #1
An increasing number of people begin to discuss whether company should use public recognition, not money to reward hard working. The majority of people seem to believe that company should use public recognition instead of money to reward hard working because it can save company's money and also give employees motivation to work harder. However, I strongly disagree with such an idea for the following reasons.

First and foremost, money is the best reward to people because it let people do what they want to do. That is to say, public recognition is not worth anything. We are living in a world which everything need to buy with money. If a company just gives public recognition to its workers, the workers there may be too poor to buy anything. According to a research by my country, Taiwan, the price level of commodes is very much higher than the level in other countries. So, it is too mean that only give public recognition to reward the employees. Thus, it is clear that companies should use money to reward their workers.

In contrast, there is the common opinion that company should use public recognition instead of money to reward hard working because it can save company's money and also give employees motivation to work harder. But this idea fails to consider what the employee will think about the company if they were only given public recognition rewards. That is, they may think their employers are too stingy to give them money rewards, and this may make the relationship between the workers and employers worsen. Furthermore, the benefit of giving money to reward the employees far overweighs giving public recognition.

In conclusion, while this issue remains hotly debated with each side providing strong supports. I have still reached the conclusion that companies should use money to reward their employees rather than use public recognition. That is, people need money to buy everything. Also, it may break the relationship if the employer only gives public recognition to reward their workers. In fact, I think money is the best way to encourage workers to work harder.

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Aug 30, 2014   #2
Let's start off with a few grammar corrections:

An increasing number of people begin to discuss whether company should use public recognition, not money to reward hard working .

- ... number of people havebegun .. whether a company...

majority of people seem to believe that company should use public recognition instead of money to reward hard working because it can save company's money

- ... seem to believe that a company... it can save the company...

money is the best reward to people because it let people do what they want to do.

- best reward for ... it lets

We are living in a world which everything need to buy with money.

- We are living in a world where one needs money in order to survive.

level of commodesisvery much higher than the level in other countries.

- the price of commodities are ...than the cost in ...

So, it is too mean that only give public recognition to reward the employees. Thus, it is clear that companies should use money to reward their worker s.

- Therefore, it would not be fair to only give public recognition to hardworking employees. The recognition is good but the employees need money.

In contrast, there is the common opinion that company should use public recognition

- that the company should use...

money to reward hard working because it can save company's money

employees motivation to work harder

- employees the motivation...

That is, they may think their employers are too stingy to give them money rewards,

- They might think... to give them financial rewards,

In conclusion, while this issue remains hotly debated with each side providing strong supports

That is, people need money to buy everything .

- Let me reiterate that people need money buy what they need to survive.

This essay is well thought out and crafted. You show a clear understanding of the prompt and offer a deep insight into the matter. Your discussion works well and your conclusion is a strong finish in my opinion. I hope my advice regarding the grammar issues helps you out :-)


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