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Compare the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales; IELTS 1

jami 1 / 3  
Jul 12, 2020   #1
Hello everyone! please help me to improve my writing skill.
I should write over 150 words but I couldn't think other thing to discuss.
Thanks for your generous help!

the percentage of households owned and rented in England

Compare the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011

The bar chart illustrates the fluctuation of the percentage of owned and rented house in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011.

Overall, the chart indicates that households in owned accommodation gradually increased from 1918 to 2011, while, the percentage of rented house declined.

In more detailed, although the percentage of owned house gradually rose, in 2011, it fell. Moreover, in 1918, it only occupied just over 20% for households in owned accommodation. On the contrary, the percentage of rented house gradually decreased, yet, in 2001, it had a bounce back and started to rise. Additionally, the highest percentage of the rented house was also in 1918. It had more than 70%. Besides, in 1971, the percentage of rented house and owned house was the same. They were both 50 percent.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,797 4780  
Jul 13, 2020   #2
You missed the word count because you did not format the essay into 3 paragraphs composed of 3-5 sentences. You were unable to completely summarize the information in the bar graphs, and you did not try to make a comparison paragraph in your essay. Basically, to meet the word count, you need to properly study the data in relation to instruction for the report. The basic outline is:

Par. 1:
- Title of the image
- Type of image
- Measurement information (source, list of information sources, age range of sources, etc. )
- Measurement requirement
- Trending statement

Providing the above information in the first paragraph will help you get closer to the 150 minimum word count.

Par. 2:
- Primary image information
- Pertinent image information using an analytical presentation
- Observations

These should be accomplished also within 3-5 sentences.

3rd Paragraph:
- Comparison data (overlapping images)
- Extended trending statement explanation
- Notable information not related to the primary information
- Any secondary information you may have observed.

All of these paragraphs should be completed using the 3-5 sentence requirement per paragraph. Using these number of sentences will help you achieve more than 150 words. In fact, you should be able to produce anywhere from 175-190 words using the above format for your outlining, drafting, and final presentation.
OP jami 1 / 3  
Jul 19, 2020   #3
thank you for your detailed suggestion and recommendation!

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