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England and Wales; rented and owned accommodation - Ielts Cambridge 13, Test 2, Task 1

vunhanhoa 1 / -  
Aug 30, 2019   #1

differences in accommodation types in two countries

The chart illustrates the household amounts of rented and owned accommodation in two countries England and Wales in a period of 1918 to 2011. There are differences in accommodation types after years while renting was overwhelming in 1918 but replaced by owning by 2011.

The percentage of rented accommodation was the major types of household in 1918, which was nearly 80 percent of total, four folds of owned accommodation. However, this number was not remaining for long and decreased to 50 percent same as the owner's figure in 1971. From this point of time, the number of owning accommodation soared rapidly until it reached the top in 2001 at approximately 70 percent, that was double in comparison with the other. By the end of period in 2011, the gap between two types of accommodation was slightly narrower when the owners declined to 64 percent and the renters climbed to 36 percent.
Maria - / 1,098 389  
Sep 5, 2019   #2
Hi there. Next time, it would be beneficial to add the graph that you've analyzed into the given text. This will help us better understand the context that you're working from. Ultimately, our feedback would be more in tune with what's being asked from you.

Aside form that, from what I can tell, you need a bit of assistance when it comes from transitioning between sentences. The second paragraph lacked a bit of push because of the lack of implementation of a proper structured approach. Organizing your text a little bit more goes a long way, especially if you want to integrate more meaning into your writing.

In order to improve the entirety of your text, I recommend that you also focus on providing analysis for your writing. Don't just merely focus on the surface level portrayal of the text.

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