Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


A comparison of the amount of High School Students who reach minimum grade to pass competency exams



faizunaa17 49 / 66  
Nov 28, 2016   #1
The bar chart below shows the percentage of students who passed their high school competency exams, by subject and gender, during the period 2010-2011.

A comparison of the amount of High School Students who reach minimum grade to pass competency exams that is divided based on subjects and gender in 2010-2011 is depicted by using bar graph. Overall, while the girls who passed computer science exam had the most enormous percentage, a smallest value was shown by the boys who took chemistry test. It also can be seen that Chemistry had the highest difference between girls and boys. Otherwise, foreign languages were almost same in both sexes.

To begin with, started with the most tremendous value that was displayed by computer science in girls' sector that hit 56.3%, while the boys located at 42.1%. Then, it was followed by two subjects that only had less than 1% difference in their gender: foreign languages and mathematics respectively. Both girls in those subjects had larger percentage than boys, while the girls in mathematics had 49.2%, the boys were only 0.8% lower than it. Furthermore, foreign languages had solely 0.6% different that was proven by boys at 46.8% and the girls had higher value at 47.4%.

Next, physics and history had difference less than 3% both girls and boys. Moreover, geography became the only one who had the higher percentage in boys, in comparison with others. In addition, both had different more than 10% that is illustrated by boys at 30.4% and the girls were smaller by 10.3%. Last, chemistry had solely 14.1% in boys while the girls were more than two times.


  • 15253424_10202218094.jpg


IvanMS027 43 / 28  
Nov 28, 2016   #2
Hi. Here are my suggestions for you

... to pass competency exams that is divided(,) based on subjects (...) by using THE bar graph.
... science exam had the most enormous percentage, aTHE smallest value (...) who took THE chemistry test.

started with the most tremendous value that was displayed by computer ...

Where is your main verb here for the first clause?

Next, physics and history had THE difference less than ...
... percentage in boys, in comparisonCOMPARED TOwith others.
... more than 10% that isWAS illustrated by boys ...
... were more than two times (HIGHER THAN ?) .

I hope it can be useful for you.
Goodluck and Keep Spirited


Home / Writing Feedback / A comparison of the amount of High School Students who reach minimum grade to pass competency exams
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳