Hi, Mohammad. What is the question of the prompt? If this is an argumentative essay, you should state another reason and give some examples to support it in body paragraph 2.
Competition instills confidence into the child's mind (hook?). Someone's attention, children are stimulated in the school to compete with each other is better off. While, others support, cooperating is helpful to bring them up to useful adults(background?) A sense of competition means the speed of study and success to goal. However, I agree with the idea mentioned first in the given statement(thesis?)
You followed the right structure but this is not clear and it is hard to follow your ideas.
Some people believe that competition and cooperation in the field of study are obligatory for students to reflect a spirit on the mind. Because, contesting is the challenge against rival parties, that's why, it reaches children to their aspect of destination.
Do you mean that both qualities are important to students? However, in the introduction, you only agree with the encouragement of a sense of competition.
students should highly influence to compete each other
students should be motivated to compete with each other