IELTS: A complaining letter to the bank ('ordered a new cheque book')

You ordered a new cheque book from your bank two weeks ago but you have
received nothing.
Write a letter to the manager complaining about the bad service. Say when and how you ordered the cheque book. Ask how much longer you will have to wait and ask the manager what action he will take over this matter.

Dear Sir/Madam.

I ordered a new cheque book for my account number 0023458975, from your main bank branch in Milano.

I am writing to complain against the bad services I have been faced when I applied for new book last Saturday 16 of July. I met a new representative, I have never seen him before in the bank, he approved my application for new cheque book after withdrawn the old one. Unfortunately he was impolite and refused to give it hand-by-hand as I did, then he sent it by post-mail that should not be late more than three days according to what he said.

I need my cheque book to release checks for my clients, however it is one week since I ordered it and nothing received yet. Could you please tell me when I can get it exactly? Otherwise to order a new one and give it hand-by-hand as I did.

I often met better services from your bank which has honesty and reputation, Therefore, I would like you to look after my problem and call me in person when you resolve my problem.

I am looking forward to hearing from you soon

Yours Faithfully

Hadi Ibrahim

Hi,
for improving the introduction, I think you can introduce yourself at the beginning, and write about this fact that your are a "client" of the bank. Then write about the problem.


Do not use this. U should not mention your request with a harsh tone.


U used this sentence in the previous paragraph. Avoid any repetition. .

has honesty and good/strong reputation.

I would be appreciated/grateful if you help me with regard to this problem. I was wandering if you would call/contact me as soon as you canlike you to look after my problem and call me in person when you resolve my problem.

U should mention that u are writing for a manager. U did not show that u wrote the letter for a manager.

Regards
Ahmad

Hi Ahmad.
Thanks a lot
Your notes make sense

Regards

Hadi