money required to maintain a physical library
In the modern life, some people believe that the maintenance of public libraries is wasting money from the budget because computer technology is now taking over the role of them. While I accept that technology is developing faster than ever, I do believe that public libraries still play an important part of our lives.
On the one hand, the progress of computer technology is replacing libraries' function. First of all, computers contain a limitless supply of digital-based information and up-to-date reading materials about every field. In just a few seconds searching, people can find thousands of result and a wide rage of information in the internet such as Google. Secondly, thanks to the development of computer technology, human is able to look for knowledge and information in an easiest and fastest way. By computer people can access any web or source of information even when at home and do not have to go for a long distance to library.
On the other hand, I personally argue that public libraries still play a pivotal role in our lives because of some several reasons. Initially, public libraries encourage human to read books and help people who do not have computer or smart phone is able to collect knowledge. Moreover, qualified books tend to have various reliable sources of information. It make sure that readers likely to have correct awareness about every field that they research and limit the problem of misinformed public.
In conclusion, it is certainly true that computer technology is now taking over the role of public libraries, but this is by no means that the maintenance of libraries are not necessary for people to collect information.
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Holt Educational Consultant - / 15460 You failed to understand the discussion method required by the essay. While this is a personal opinion essay, it is not to be discussed in a comparison form. The instructions are clear. This is an extent degree essay. That means, the paraphrase should include a clear stand with a sense of support intensity for the topic. You flipped the discussion around to become a comparative essay instead. Let me clearly point out the mistake in your understanding below:
OP: To what extent do you agree or disagree?
YP: I do believe that public libraries still play an important part of our lives.
The OP is asking you to write about how much you agree or disagree with the given statement. In your prompt response, you indicated instead a belief regarding why libraries cannot be replaced by the internet. Hence the mistake in Task Accuracy. You have shown that you do not understand English enough to be able to follow the given discussion instruction. The topic for discussion in this essay is:
OT: Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money
YT: ... public libraries still play an important part of our lives.
Even though you mentioned the budget in your first sentence of the prompt paraphrase, the rest of the message of your introduction doesn't follow the essence of the original prompt. The main discussion consideration is how much it costs to maintain a library as opposed to an internet based library. It has nothing to do with the importance or non-importance of a physical library.
Your body of paragraphs do not relate to the amount of money required to maintain a physical library, which was the original discussion topic. So the essay did not even manage to properly discuss the required topic. I am sorry but I believe this essay will not get a Task Accuracy score better than a 1 because the response is completely unrelated to the task. With that possible score, it will be impossible for you to get an overall passing score.
Since you are taking one stance in your essay, you should stick to it and add ideas there instead of writing the advantages of computers over libraries. you can talk about excess information available on internet which is mostly not reliable whereas books have reliable data which can be counted on. You can also talk about rural areas which don't have internet access.For them public library is the only option.Furthermore, community libraries are the cheapest source of information for everyone.
Some grammatical and spelling improvements:
- In the modern life...
- ... important part IN our lives.
- ... is replacing THE libraries' function.
- ... a wide RANGE of information ON the internet ...
- ..., THE human is able ...
- By computer, people can ... to THE library.
- ... do not have A computer or SMARTPHONE is able to ...
- It MAKES sure that ... problem of A misinformed public.
