IELTS: Public Libraries and computer technology

hey guys, maybe you could help me with this one. Let me know if my sentences are loose or if my essay lacks ideas and examples. I am way past the 250 words mark so i have no space for specific examples. I'm trying out a different approach in writing my essays.

task description: Public libraries should not be mained anymore since we already have computer technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement and give your opinion.

The advancement of technology has paved a way for traditional means to be rapidly replaced by the use of digital gadgets in almost aspects of the people's lives even in acquiring new information. In today's world, some had questioned the existence of public libraries when computers can be used instead.

The convenience brought about by the accessibility and portability of digital machinery and gadgetry is highly attractive to some individuals. The use of these instruments mean being able to access a massive amount of information while inside the house or office at anytime time of the day. One do not have to travel from place to the library, and once there do not have go through the thousands of pages of books just to find what they are looking for. Furthermore, the materials are up to date as compared to published books and journals. A variety of mediums, such as videos and photographs, are readily available. All of which can easily be obtained by keying in a few words in the search bar.

Public libraries, however, provide and extensive and validated form for resources. The materials found in this institution are done and checked by experts which makes it a more reliable source of information. Books are also consistently being updated when new versions are published which means resources are also at par with the continuing time. Although there may be issues of accessibility due to time constraints, public libraries are opened most days of the week with late closing hours. Anyone are welcome to experience the conducive environment and try out the services free of charge.

In my opinion, I believe that it is not necessary to cease public library operations. Library officials have responded to the developments of modern technology by providing computer stations for accessing the Internet. This, plus the information provided by the written publications gives the user a broader source of knowledge. The public are given more choices for their needs with the benefits of being in one building. It is similar to a department store with all the things they need found under one roof.

To sum up, the convenience and wide range of information given by computers is not enough reason for the closing of public libraries. Libraries not only offer digital and physical materials resources but also a favorable environment for the people.

Good essay but your position and stand should be noted at the beginning of your essay.

..."Department store"...we say "departmental store"
Also when you use the word "anyone" it should follow with a singular." anyone is welcome" not anyone are welcome.

Also I feel your answer is more like a "discuss both views and give your opinion" approach.

You should state whether u agree at first and stick to your position. If u agree,continue with the agreement and if otherwise do the same.

I enjoyed the essay.

Thanks.

This type of task confuses me. Both "discuss both views"
and "to what extent to do you agree and disagree" belong to a type a2 type of task description and my teacher from the review said we follow the same format for both and should say something about the unchoosen(first) and choosen(2nd) side then state more reasons for the choosen side, whilst for a do you agree/disgree type, directly justify the choosen side.

Thanks for the heads up. I should really ask my reviewer about the difference between the two. :)

Good intro, but better with your opinion :D


.... This line does not flow well.... I mean you should improve its clarity more;
The use of these instruments help people access information very efficiently and conveniently without facing any geographical or time barriers.