May 10, 2018 #1
Hi reviewers, thank you in advance for reviewing my essay. I am preparing for IELTS GT exam and the following essay is for Writing task 2. I have 3 weeks to prepare, and if you can provide a review as per TA ( Task Achievement), CC ( Coherence and Cohesion ), Lexical Resources/ Vocabulary (LR) and Grammer (GR), that will help me to focus on the weakest area. If not, any suggestions/ comments are welcome.
Essay Topic - Computers are becoming an essential part of education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion.
As part of the school assignment, computers are becoming the requirement. In my opinion, it is beneficial to children as today the average person's work-life resolves around computers and exposing younger people to the computer early in school prepares them for the future. The most prominent advantage is children get access to the Global school, which help them in understanding and learning better. On other hands, sometimes they get distracted easily by social media and computer gaming.
Using the computer at schools, children can access Global libraries like the online video tutorial, FAQ forums, free e-books and they can grasp on fundamental concepts easily. Without the computer, students have to rely only on books and tutorials given in the classroom, and if they have any other doubts or if they don't understand material easily, they get only limited help. But Internet has truly opened up the whole world to them, and they get the infinite amount of information. For instance, for any single math or science problem, they can find many different ways to solve it. In addition to that, using forum they can interact with people having same issues and learn from each other.
To contrary, using the computer also brings distractions, for examples, computer gaming, and social media, which hinders their progress on studies. While using the computer, it is very easy to get off track as it offers many other functionalities. When using study with paper and pen, focus comes easily. One of the examples of this is, when using the computer for doing an assignment, children end up checking their emails, playing a bit of game and checking their social media, as these functionalities are readily available. If the same assignment is done using Paper- pen, it gets done correctly.
Although there are some disadvantages to using too much computer at school, they outweigh advantages as computer skills are helpful in selecting good career options and maintaining high profile jobs. Today, around 80% - 90% job requires more or less of computer work, therefore learning computer skills at school level is really beneficial.
To summarize, using the computer at school may cause the distraction to study, but in later like having good computer skills are undeniable to any career options.