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TOEFL -Computers have made it possible for office workers to do their work



xucoi 14 / 41  
Jul 28, 2012   #1
Please help me check again my essay. Thank you very much ^^

Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do
their work from home instead of working in offices every day. Working
from home should be encouraged for workers and employees as it is
good. Do you agree or dis?
Some people think that working at home brings to workers and employees too much convenience, but i don't. Because the best conditions are sometimes not likely to be good as the expectation of people. Working without pressure and interaction are some examples for these disadvantages.

Pressure is motivation. Each office has its rules that keep workers do their job as effectively as possible. The directors manage employers and give them the deadline of projects. Then again, the workers must try their best to finish the time limit. Doing all jobs at home don't make employees attempt to work like this.

Computers and modems bring works to home but these still have many things distract their mind. Facebook or Yahoo have been the entertaining websites, however, they are the reasons why people cannot concentrate on their job. The dos and don't at office play important role to prevent these things from workers. In condition, doing all jobs alone makes employees fall asleep easily. As a result, the project cannot being done. The best condition might not be good for people.

Interaction has been an advantage for workers at offices. Discussing and debating Projects together increase working ability because all we know that the target can be reached fast thanks to working of many people. Besides, interaction help employees improve their communicational skills, therefore, they will have more and more friends and relationships. Interaction is a factor increasing working quality.

There will have many disadvantages if the workers work at home. Mitigating process, no interaction and pressure are these things people should examine when they want to work at home.

Jennyflower81 - / 674  
Jul 29, 2012   #2
Hi, I can help with your paper :)

Some people think that working at homebrings tois too convenient for workers and employees,too much convenience, but i don'tdisagree .

Because the best conditions are sometimes not likely to be good as the expectation of people.

This sentence does not really make sense. You mean to say, "Some people expect their working environment to be perfect."

Working without pressure and interaction are some examples for these disadvantages.
What "disadvantages" are you referring to?? Confusing..

Pressure iscan lead to increased motivation.

Each office has its rules that keep workers doperforming their job as effectively as possible.

The directors manage employers and give them theproject deadlines.of projects.Then again,This leads tothe the pressure that workers experiencemustso that they try their best. to finish the time limit. Doing all jobswork at home doesn't make employees attempt to work like thisquickly .
OP xucoi 14 / 41  
Jul 30, 2012   #3
:-),oh, it's so much mistakes that i screwed over.:-). I'm so glad if you can fix some wrongs in 2,3 phases. Thank you so much again.
OP xucoi 14 / 41  
Aug 2, 2012   #4
I also have some questions:
Using "allow" instead of "bring to", Did you mean we need to avoid the repeat the topic title?
Facebook or Yahoo have been the are entertaining websites. This sentence may wrong because i thought it happened in the past and still extend to present.

The dos and don't at office rules play an important role. Using it replace for "rule" is wrong?
Thank you so much for helping me fix my mistakes. I'll invite you coffee if i meet you :P.
Jennyflower81 - / 674  
Aug 2, 2012   #5
Hi :) I chose the word "allow" because it sounds more proper and less casual. Yes, it sounds better to speak in the present if you are referring to something that is still happening. "Do's and don'ts is not wrong, but it sounds casual, and I chose a different word "rules" because it may sound better that way. Strengthen your conclusion, create at least 2 sentences for it. Use the conclusion to re-state the main point you are trying to make- that computer work from home is truly inefficient. Good luck with your writing :)
OP xucoi 14 / 41  
Aug 2, 2012   #6
Oh, ^^. Thank you so so much. Your advices are really necessary for my writing. I still try to improve my wrting skill. Please keeping your eyes on my next post ^^. I'm so glad if i can see your great comment on next post ^^. Thank you again. Good luck :D


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