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IELTS Task 2: Consuming so much junk food is one of complex problems in health for citizens



akbarmappiare 31 / 445  
Nov 30, 2015   #1
In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food? Agree or Disagree?

Consuming so much junk food is one of complex problems in health for citizens and make a growth of number of the citizens who have health problems in some countries. Consequently, government have to raise levy on all types of junk food. I do not believe that this solution can work effectively to solve the junk food since majority of consumers is rich people so that rising the levy does not influence them to consume it.

The government suppose that an increasing levy will decrease the number of sufferer from health problems because the high levy will automatically augment prices of the junk foods. To illustrate, some people who usually buy many items of the junk foods and do not question the prices order the few junk foods solely because the price of the junk foods is more expensive. A decreasing of consuming the junk foods will be linear with a declining of the sufferer.

However, I tend to oppose that this solution because it does not affect successfully. Majority of consuming fast foods is wealthy people so that the high tax does not influence their eagerness to eat the fast foods every day. In addition, the main reason why many people consume is that fast food is a part of lifestyle nowadays so that they will attempt to buy the fast food although those is more expensive. The increasing the tax only give a positive effect on income of both country and company, but it does not lessen their desire to consume the fast foods.

In conclusion, I fully disagree that the government have to increase the tax of the junk food because it only give benefit to the country and do not lessen the number of sufferer who experience health problems. The government should innovate to dispel a perspective of many people that consuming the junk foods is the part of the lifestyle and dangerous to the health. For example, the government should give instruction schools to make a seminar for students about negative effects of consuming so much junk food.

justivy03 - / 2265  
Dec 3, 2015   #2
Hi Akbar, I'd like to share my thoughts on your essay.

-Consuming so much junk food is one of complex problems in health
- for citizens and make a growth ofresults to a number of the citizens who have
- the junk food related health issues assince majority of consumers
- is richare affluent people so thatthe rising the levy does not influence them to consume it.

Akbar, I stop my corrections from here so that you will follow through, I understand that this may not be your first essay,
there's a lot more writing strokes that you have to learn and it's fine, writing is not as easy as it looks.

I suggest that you focus on the word choice, sentence construction and making sure that your idea transpires in your writing.
That being said, practice writing more, read a lot and do a little digging for essay samples and other articles, this practice helps a lot

in order for you to come up with a well written essay.


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