[TOEFL] contribution of scientists have value more than contribution of artists

TOPIC : It is generally agreed that society benefits from the work of its
members. Compare the contributions of artists to society with the
contributions of scientists to society. Which type of contribution do
you think is valued more by your society? Give specific reasons to
support your answer.

Nowadays, both art and science play in an important role to provide great benefits to world societies. However, there are differences of contribution between art and science to societies which, in my point of view, contribution of scientists could provide more benefits to our nations. I will give reasons to support my opinion.

To begin with, arts and sciences are created by people who specialise in their work in order to provide satisfaction to people. Beside, there is one thing that both art and science have in common. Both art and science they are created for entertain people. People could enjoy aesthetic appreciation of art by watching paintings, sculptures, dancing, and so on. And so does scient, people are also enjoy invention of scientists by watching movies through television, listening to musics through radio and so on. Thus, art and science could provide entertain to people.

On the other hand, there are many differences of art and scient that scient could provide more benefits to people in societies. For example, air conditioner that are built in order to make people have more comfortable in their places by providing cool air in summer or warm air in winter. These air conditioner are not square box machine that are set in a room, but, nowaday, these the AC could be an artistic object that are set in our places. We could order the AC in shape of fireplace or sculpture form. Therefore, we could have the AC as a master piece of art in our places while these invention are also providing air that make people are more comfortable. In a contrast, sculptures that we buy from sculpture shop are just set in our places and give nothing but aesthetic appriciation. Thus, contribution of scientists could provide more benefits to society.

In conclusion, I personally believe that contribution of scientists have value more than contribution of artists because most inventions could do both entertain and give our live better. Consequently, contribution of scientists have value more than contribution of artists.

.... This should be a hook statement which can grab the reader's attention instantly. However, this sentence does not sound very meaningful because not only nowadays, even in the past both science and art had great benefits to our society and it is an all time case!

Both art and science play an important role for the betterment of any society.


This sentence is poorly constructed - society then become a nation / clarity needs more improvement;
However, their level of contribution to society vary and in my personal view, I believe science makes a more important contribution in contrast to art .