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Toefl - 'a more convenient life in a city'?



Wang Jia 1 / 1  
Jul 21, 2012   #1
[i]Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use specific examples to support your answer.

Here my essay:

There are undeniable advantages to both life in a big city and in a small town. The former offers more excitement and convenience while the latter offers a cleaner, quieter and often

friendlier place to live. However, despite the advantages of small town life, I prefer to live in a big city for several reasons.

On the one hand, I have always wanted to find a job in a big company which locates in a prosperous city area. To make it convenient, I will absolutely choose a place to live that is not too far from my workplace. What's more I can save plenty of money on transportation if I choose to live in the city.

On the other hand, life in a big city will not be so dull as in a small town. You can enjoy modern life and have more access to the advanced facilities. For instance, you can visit museums to learn history, and go to a more equipped library to enjoy reading, or you can go to a sports center for exercising. But a small town may be less developed to satisfy all these kinds of needs.

Furthermore living in big cities means more exposure to stimulation, like all kinds of information If one can efficiently acquire the information, then, there might come along more opportunities for him to achieve his goals. For example,there are various advertisements here an there, whether on the leaflets or on the big screen showing things of all sorts in commercial zones. If one is seeking a job right in the city or planing somewhere to travel, or just wants to buy a product in a dependable store, he might refer to what he has seen or heard from the advertisements to make a relatively wise choice.

There is also another obvious advantage of living in a big city considering the chance of receiving better education of our offspring. Schools in big cities may receive more funds from whether the local comities or the government, which may make them more equipped with advanced teaching facilities and attract more excellent teachers.Our children thus will have a better chance of pursuing high-quality education which is very important for their future development.

In conclusion, if I want to live a more convenient life with more access to modern facilities as well as with more exposure to various opportunities, and have my children receive a better education, a big city is the place to live in.

ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 661  
Jul 21, 2012   #2
for several reasons

mention the reasons briefly to show the body includes what issues.

I will absolutely choose a place to live that is not too far from my workplace

What do you mean? U can have a job in a small city too. i think this is not a good support for your opinion. By the way, u did not say why you like to work in a big city. The paragraph is confusing. U could talk about more job opportunities in larger cities, for example.

ButHowever, a small town may be less developed to satisfyprovide all these kindsleisure facilitiesof needs.

there areadvertisingis everywhere in a big city and a wide variety of advertisements are available,here an there , whether onranging fromthe leaflets ortoon the big screen (u can use billboard) showing things of all sorts in commercial adszones
dumi 1 / 6793  
Jul 21, 2012   #3
There are undeniable advantages one would have by living into both life in a big city and in a small town.

The former offers more excitement and convenience while the latter offers a cleaner, quieter and often friendlier place to live.

------------- very good sentence : )

However, despite the advantages oflife in small town life , I prefer to live in a big city for several reasons.

Good introduction to the topic :)
OP Wang Jia 1 / 1  
Jul 25, 2012   #4
Thank you very much for revising the essay. I know you'v always been kind to help others with their essays. From your comments on my article, I think you have good logical thinking. Your advices are persuasive and are helpful. Thank you again!
dumi 1 / 6793  
Jul 26, 2012   #5
It's my pleasure helping you dear Wang. I learn that you practice for TOEFL and I can say confidently this is good place for it. I too joined the forum while I was preparing for TOEFL. Keep posting your essays to the forum for feed backs and also read other's essays together with the comments provided for them.

:)


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