Conversations in person are gradually being replaced by internet communications through social apps

The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society

In the technology-driven world, conversations in person are gradually being replaced by internet communications through social apps such as Facebook, Snapchat..., which has become a controversial issue. Personally, I believe that the drawbacks these technologies have brought might overshadow their benefits.

In terms of the advantages, social networking sites not only allow us to stay in touch with our loved ones, families and friends but also are places where people can connect and share common interests with anyone from all walks of life. Every day, the internet apps continue to provide new facilities that are immensely convenient with instant access to an endless supply of knowledge. It is undeniable that social media greatly contributes to life, especially in the Corona situation when people can work and study from home without being affected by viruses.

Sadly enough, social media also reflects an uglier side of society through a number of problems that have shown up for its users. The overuse of these apps causes obesity, shortsightedness, and makes people addicted to their screens all day. Students are likely to neglect their studies due to the appearance of games online, advertisements or even pornographic, prurient, violent and inappropriate contents which exert devastating influences on their development. Moreover, research has shown that users seem to lose their ability to communicate face-to-face with others and even increasingly suffer from depression or xenophobia. Insecurity is also concerned owing to hackers and scammers trying to get money and private information from users.

In view of what was mentioned above, social media exerts substantial influence nowadays, creates both pros and cons, but somehow the disadvantages win out.

You need to refer to the keyword from the original essay which is "outweigh". The missing synonym for this word is what makes your last sentence in the prompt restatement partially incorrect. It would have been better presented as "The drawbacks of these technologies eclipse / exceed / predominate / outbalance ( synonym words for outweigh) ...

Your discussion does not provide evidence that would prove your opinion. This is a single opinion essay. So you cannot use the comparative discussion format. Since you say the negatives outweigh the positives, then you need to explain why this is so. There is no clear sense of a discussion that weighs consideration factors in the presentation. Just a continued discussion of a/d, which is different from the "outweigh" discussion.