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The internet makes finding out detailed information as well as making conversations very easy


Bich Tram 1 / -  
Apr 6, 2020   #1

It is generally believed that the Internet is an excellent means of communication



Recently, the means of finding out detailed information as well as making conversations has become an ongoing topic of debate in many parts of the world. It is a common belief that the Internet plays an indispensable role in the process of bonding people, which cannot be supplanted by any other kind. Nevertheless, there are some shortcomings when the Internet is used to find out detailed information. I incline with both arguments for several reasons.

On the one hand, in the Internet age, using wireless networks not only can contribute a decline to the distance barrier by some social media, but also broaden one's social circle, even making overseas new friends. Specifically, in terms of extroverted teenagers, they can feel more at ease when having more friends, eventually from abroad. For example, there is no need to set aside time to organize face-to-face meetings, they just add friends on social media, such as Facebook or Instagram and create conversations. According to the Close-knit Bonds Club, the majority of adolescents tend to deem the visual world as the basic needs to exchange their stories, some projects at schools and catch up on gossips with friends

On the other hand, it is argued that being proficient at looking for detail on the Internet can be considered as career progression as well as future prosperity in the competitive world. Conversely, the key consideration is the accurate level of the materials, which can be learned from real experiences. It fosters following the truth and the greatest solutions when facing the arduous cases on a daily basis which were related to professional knowledge. In fact, in chemical experiments, the rates between some solutions seemed not the same as in the theories, therefore, people have to be flexible in changing the proportions to display the most noticeable phenomenon. According to the Oxford survey, approximately 87% of citizens place more importance on correct materials than they do on the sources, which the fake and truth are mixed. As a result, they can further their career paths and achieve the coveted awards in late life.

To sum up, while it is apparent that the Internet is one way by which users can get endless sources, it is undeniable that the accurate level of information is given more stress. Thus, some striking downfall from the Internet like gossip magazines should be substituted by the truth from the real application. In addition, Internet users can overcome distance obstacles and satisfy the social circle requirements effectually.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,734 3791  
Apr 6, 2020   #2
Your response is totally unrelated to the task presented by the discussion instructions. Based on the original prompt, the discussion for this essay topic is:

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The discussion instruction is based on the given topic:

It is generally believed that the internet is an excellent means of communication but some people suggest that it may not be the best place to find information.

The original discussion topic is based on the proliferation of fake news on social media and some slanted search engine results. The discussion format is based on the general public point of view, coming from 2 public sides of the matter upon which your personal opinion will be based. What you did was change things around.

YP: It is a common belief that the Internet plays an indispensable role in the process of bonding people, which cannot be supplanted by any other kind. Nevertheless, there are some shortcomings when the Internet is used to find out detailed information.

YD: I incline with both arguments for several reasons.


Creating such a big prompt deviation means that your essay did not follow the given format for the discussion and, as such, has not presented the proper information to the examiner. Thus creating a failing essay presentation. You failed to represent the two points of view and your personal opinion is not aligned with the original prompt. As such, you have created an essay discussion in a manner of your own design instead of as prescribed by the original prompt. There is no way that this essay will get a passing score.

Your information is not based on relevant examples from your experience or knowledge. By citing an Oxford research result, you have gone against the personal knowledge requirement. You are citing researched information instead complete with percentages. In addition, you are using exaggerated phrases such as "topic of debate" when these are mere discussions. You have to understand that the examiners are looking for accuracy in your representation of the discussion and using terms that create controversy where there is none will not sit well with them.


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