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Should countries around the world establish close connections regarding culture and business?



imahunnn 1 / -  
Jun 12, 2021   #1

WRITING TASK 2 - BUSINESS AND MONEY



Some people say that increasing business and cultural contacts between countries is a positive development, while others think that many countries will lose their national identities as a result. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

While it is largely believed that countries around the world should establish close connections regarding culture and business which could have a positive impact on global development, some argue that this bond can cause those countries to lose their own national identities. I am in favor of the former view.

It is understandable why there are some strong arguments against increasing the business and cultural connections between nations. First, this trend can pose a threat to their traditional values. A foreign company would bring its own culture to the country it settles, which can have both negative and positive influences on national development. Mushrooming of fast food chains in Vietnam perfectly exemplifies this situation. These restaurants have altered Vietnamese people's eating habits and their attitudes towards the importance of home-cooked meals. Second, cultural contacts have notably changed conservative beliefs of a nation. These days, many people have accepted the same-sex marriage and premarital cohabitation which were socially unacceptable a few decades ago.

Instead of the aforementioned reasons, I am of opinion that the establishment of business and cultural connections between countries is of tremendous benefit to international growth. The key rationale is that multinational corporations would provide local people with a range of jobs with lucrative income, which can reduce the rate of unemployment to some extent. KFC, the worldwide fast-food company, is a case in point. It has offered Vietnamese workers thousands of jobs improving their living standards and meeting their own living expenses. Another driving factor is that cultural contacts of various countries would help people enrich their knowledge of different cultures. For example, foreign students can avoid culture shock and other cultural-related problems when staying in other countries, which could often lead to tension and conflicts.

In conclusion, while there may be some people who suppose that many countries could lose their national identities because of foreign relations, I strongly believe that strengthening the bonds of culture and economy between nations make a contribution to international growth.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15388  
Jun 13, 2021   #2
You need to better reference your restatement of the 2 ideas that were provided. Long sentences such as these lack clarity and are difficult for the reader to follow. Where 2 topics are provided, use 2 seperate sentences to allow for a better understanding of the written text. One for each idea. As for your agreement with the latter view, an establishment of your supporting reason /s is /are necessary for a strong thesis presentation.

accepted the same-sex marriage and premarital cohabitation

This is not relevant to the business and cultural contacts discussion. You need to further expand the discussion to create a connection or use a simple and easily relevant example instead.

I am of opinion tha

You immediately jumped to your personal opinion, avoiding a paragraph explaining the public point of view regarding national identity You will only receive a partial score due to an incomplete discussion presentation. This may pull your score down to a failing level.


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