Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

There is disagreement on the impact of increased business and culture contact between the countries

Thien Xuan 1 / -  
Mar 25, 2020   #1
There is disagreement on the impact of increased business and culture contact between the countries on the country's identity .

What is your opinion


Global integration has been carried out by the developed and developing nations throughout the world. This sparks public opinion whether countries would put their indigenous culture at risk or whether they could economical and cultural benefit from the closer relationship with the rest of the world. This issue could be viewed and analyzed among multiple perspectives.

When it comes to international integration, there is no compelling evidences to be taken into account of the deterioration of nation's conventions. In other words, opening the border to the other parts of the world is considered an action boosting the reputation of the country among the worthy destinations thanks to the number of foreign visitors,who desire discovering different lifestyles as well as history. Furthermore, it should not be neglected that tourism has always exceeded the high proportion in the economy, supporting the preservation and protection to nation's features. Another benefit from integration that is avocated by the massive countries is participating international organization of cuture and history, the effective way to raise the fund for this purpose.

Meanwhile the opponents grab their own viewpoints that to develop tourism sometimes at the expense of part of culture. It means once the others discover one's culture, the natives also approach and absorb the new traditions from those travellers with or without purpose. For a solid example, Vietnam is an Asian nation which is undertaken by strict rule, customs and taboos; specially in sex. Vietnamese are not allowed to discuss sex to each other as such issue is ban and shame, even it is not included in education system .

Nevertheless, since western cultures arrived, the youngsters have had changed their mind set in many aspects, including sex. That seems acceptable in the contemporary life but the majority of juveniles and children are associated with it unconsciously, causing harms on traditions and breaking the time- honored convention. The degradation of nature and environmental, moreover, is an unavoidable subject if the number of visitors is out of supervision . Not only is Vietnam but also the rest of the world are dealing with it.

Awareness, obviously, takes a key responsibility for the culture conservation when international integration is significantly contributing to the development of economy and culture in each nation.

Holt [Contributor] - / 8,848 2635  
Mar 26, 2020   #2
Your response deviated from the discussion reason that was provided in the original prompt. The only perspective that you should be discussing in this essay is the one related to the reference of ; "on the country's identity ". That means, the discussion is not about the globalization of business but rather the "regionalization" of a business. The latter term is in reference to how global brands enter a country and, by virtue of their desire to be accepted by the country's national's, they adjust their global presence to suit the needs and tastes of the individual country.

Your discussion is all over the place. You have taken into account all possible discussion angles except the one that really matters, which is the disappearance or pollution of the country's identity due to the increased business presence of a foreign company in the country. Possible discussion points here would have been why Dunkin', even though it is a popular brand across the world, could not find acceptance for the global brand in India. Or, why Starbucks is not succeeding in Vietnam, even though the country is known for having heavy coffee drinkers. Both businesses signify and increased international business in the country, but also, represents a distortion of the culture and identity of the country through the introduction of hybrid products that are meant to keep the global brand alive, while catering to local tastes.

Had you focused on the true discussion point of the essay, you would have presented a clear discussion that paints a clear understanding of the discussion subject and provided discussion point. The way I see it, the essay is good, but not really focused on the required discussion point.

Home / Writing Feedback / There is disagreement on the impact of increased business and culture contact between the countries