Growth in life span has been seen in multiple nations all over the world recently. In this essay below, I will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of this situation from my perspective.
On the plus side of increased life expectancy, there are a lot of things that can be listed. One obvious advantage of this is the elderly can enjoy their lives longer and better as well as pursue the dreams that they have not realized. As they have more time to live and try different new things, they will be happier and more optimistic. Consequently, their mental health will be improved effectively. Another benefit of expanding life span is that older people can provide support, guidance, and give advice to the younger generation in the family. Since people live longer, they have experienced highs and lows in their lives. Therefore, they will know how to tackle issues and provide suitable directions for their offspring.
On the contrary, there are also numerous downsides to this trend. The main problem occurring is the aging population which can slow down the country's economic development in the long run. When the population is mostly old people, intellectual work and various realms, which play a crucial part in earning a country's money, will reduce. Moreover, when there are a large number of elderly, many hospitals and medical centers will have to work harder to meet the demand of old people as they can easily suffer from illnesses. Poor health can, in addition, become a financial burden for some families for they do not have enough money to pay for bills.
On balance, the disadvantages of increasing life expectancy outweigh the disadvantages. While it can be a burden for families and can slow down a country's movement, people with longer life spans can enjoy their lives better and achieve their goals. In my view, as long as old people care about their mental and physical health by doing exercise regularly, having a longer life expectancy can actually benefit oneself as well as the whole community.
P/S: Can you give the score for this essay based on IELTS writing?
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4786 In this essay below, I will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of this situation from my perspective.
Remember that you are being given a preliminary score for the clarity of your thought process. This includes your short form reasoning abilities that would help define what the succeeding discussion will be about. The comment you made above does not meet the writer's opinion presentation requirements. Therefore, you will not receive a score for the WO section.
The reasoning paragraphs are good but not well developed. When writing an advantage and disadvantage essay, you are expected to compare the reasons you provide based on analysis of the explanation expectation. That is, how you find the positive and the negative based on the subject you have chosen to discuss. That is where the Coherence and Cohesiveness of the discussion will be considered. How well do you understand the discussion choices you have made will dictate the clarity of and full development of your discussion paragraphs.
You cannot offer a writer's opinion in any section of this essay. That will result in a markdown since the writing instruction does not ask you to present a personal opinion during any given time in the discussion. More importantly, you cannot suddenly offer a personal opinion in the concluding summary / paragraph as that will be considered a prompt deviation, resulting in an open ended essay.
