IELTS Writing Task 2 - All countries should produce their own food or not?

Hi there. This is my essay for the topic of food production :)

Prompt: Countries should try to produce all the food for the population and imports as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

I DISAGREE WITH THIS TO A LARGE SCALE

My answer:
Due to the recent development in food industry worldwide, many people argue that countries should push their domestic food industry and import fewer food products from foreign countries. However, I am not in favour with this idea to a large degree.

It is understandable that not every countries can have the ingredients available to produce particular food for their population due to differences of climate conditions. For instance, farmers in countries with perennially cold weather can encounter great difficulties in cultivating crops and producing food such as rice. This is why the government are reluctant to import rice products from countries where the weather patterns are compatible for agricultural development. As a result, this helps to meet the demand for agricultural products and increase food security.

Nevertheless, there is a belief that food imported from foreign countries is not guaranteed in terms of safety and standards, which I think is not a reason why countries must switch to producing their own food. This situation can be tackled with stricter food quality monitoring. When a food product is delivered from an international source, it is imperative for the government to reassure the quality by examining its current condition. In case this product is considered a violation to safety standards, the authorities can immediately put a ban on commercial distribution, thus preventing dangerous food consumption in the public.

In conclusion, I am not an opponent of encouraging countries to produce their own food and restrict imports, as the different climate conditions make it nearly impractical. Although imported products can cause problems related to consumers' health, it can be solved with stronger law enforcement, such as quality examination.

Nice essay though it could use a bit more of examples and demonstrations to show that you know what you're talking about and to back your argument! Try to use lesser agressive words such as "an opponent" just use 'not in favor of' or 'I don't agree with' etc...

Plural vs. Singular issue - government are (government is). Government signifies a singular reference, governmentS refer to plural forms hence the singular IS must be used instead of the plural ARE. In the phrase "every countries", every refers to singular form presentations. So the term countries should be in singular form also (country).

When using introductory elements such as "therefore", a comma must be used. When referring to weather systems, you cannot say "perennially cold". The weather system in such a country "freezing weather", or "wintry weather".

Your thought clarity is blurred in the following presentation:

...farmers in countries with perennially ... for agricultural development.

The first sentence indicates a reason as to why certain countries need to import their crops. The second sentence explains that country's that cannot import rice products are reluctant to purchase rice from other countries. Do you see how the sentences contradict each other? If you are in a cold country, but require rice for your food supply, then you have no choice but to import rice from other countries. That paragraph is faulty and will definitely lower your score.

BTW, you keep on generalizing the discussion to a Vietnam specific discussion. Not all countries eat rice or grains. The western world relies more on flour products and bread. Other countries, use vegetables as a main food product. Always look at the overall picture. Never localize the information. Refer to food in general, no specific food product is required as there was no specific food type mentioned in the original prompt.

Your second paragraph is strong enough and clear in its thought presentation. It is the best paragraph in this essay. However, your conclusion summary needs to be divided. It is a run on with only 2 sentences. Always aim for 3-5 in the conclusion. Make sure you properly summarize your discussion. That is something that you did not do a good job in presenting as a part of the conclusion.