Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Countries should try to produce all the food and import as little food as possible



cherryblossom 6 / 11  
Jul 25, 2022   #1
Countries should try to produce all the food and import as little food as possible.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?



Many people say that every food produced should be made in the country's border and foreign imports should be avoided as much as possible. In my opinion, I completely disagree with this idea because of the potential lack of nutrition as well as hindered economic growth if people are concentrated to fulfill the need for self-reliance of food.

It seems to me that if a country only consumes the types of food available to its region, people's demand for a wide range of nutrition can not be met, especially in a country with an extreme climate. For example, countries with continental climate like Russia can not grow staple crops like rice and need to import a large amount each year if they want to have it in their daily meal. Therefore, minimizing the food imported from other countries may be an extreme choice.

Moreover, due to the disparity in technological resources, weather and geographical conditions, enormous manpower may be required to produce enough food. Many countries are not favoured with conducive factors for food production and this will result in a lack of human resources for other industries. Therefore, a deteriorating economy predicating on agriculture is anticipated.

I understand those who argue that food transportation is a huge carbon burden. However, if a country wants to supply itself, it is likely that deforestation will expand to make way for agricultural land. In this case, there is no big difference regarding environmental cost and the farming practices per se also release a whopping amount of greenhouse gases. Take livestock farming as an example, enteric fermentation produces methane during digestion in ruminant animals like cows and this has done great harm to the environment.

In conclusion, I completely disagree with the idea that a country should be independent of food due to the possibility of malnutrition, potential economic failure and the fact that it makes no big difference if we clear forests, conduct farming and transport food by plane.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15466  
Jul 26, 2022   #2
Good work on the prompt restatement and writer's opinion paragraph. It is well developed and follows the expected format for the rewording of the original topic and thesis statement. The essay is definitely off to a good start and strong preliminary score.

As for the reasoning statements, it is important that the writer understand the discussion basis. It is based on a 2 reasoning discussion paragraph format. One paragraph for each thesis reason. The writer over extended the discussion. It could have been easily completed within 2 paragraphs based upon how short the third paragraph actually is. The use of concise paragraphs will always help the C+C score. It does not need to be a lengthy discussion, just a strong discussion.

Good work on the use of personal pronouns in the essay. It helps to add to the strength of the discussion and will definitely help increase the GRA score since it removes any confusion about who is speaking in the essay. The sentences are well developed and understandable as well. The sentences are not perfect, but that is not the aim of the test. As long as the writer can produce sentences that help the reader understand his opinion, then the sentence and paragraph will have succeeded in accomplishing its task.


Home / Writing Feedback / Countries should try to produce all the food and import as little food as possible
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳