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In my country-Taiwan, many high schools encourage students to be a volunteer.

Arlen 20 / 40 3  
Dec 4, 2016   #1
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children).

To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In my country-Taiwan, many high schools encourage students to be a volunteer. But being a volunteer is not a mandatory requirement. Some people state that this kind of unpaid community service should be included in high school curriculum. In my point of view, I am on the support side of this statement.

The against people argue that the reason of these high school students willing to do such extra work is doubtable. The real reason is that they think of the certification of volunteer as an extra bonus to applying the university. It proofs that you don't only concentrate on studying but pay extra attention on social issue. Therefore, it is too controversial to set this kind of programmes in school.

On the other hand, I believe the high school students are mature enough to participate in social activities. They can learn lots from these experiences, such as being thoughtful to the handicapped and understanding their parents' efforts on themselves. You can observe that in modern society, many students take everything for granted, and they lack sympathy. By setting these programmes in school, it seems a good way to lead them toward the right path.

To sum up, there are pros and cons toward the unpaid community service being compulsory progammes. But isn't it a good chance to these students to gain something different from formal education.

Holt [Contributor] - / 8,624 2516  
Dec 5, 2016   #2
Arlen, in terms of task accuracy, the essay would possibly score a 5 for a number of reasons. With regards to Task Accuracy, the problems with your work are as follows:

1. While you generally address the prompt in an acceptable paraphrase, there is no clear overview to your essay because there is no introductory data to support your stance.

2. While you discussed certain important parts of the essay, it is not properly developed within the paragraph so there is no clear purpose for the discussion being presented at certain times within the essay.

With regards to coherence and cohesion, you could score a maximum of 4 because:
1. There is no logic or coherence to the way that you have your paragraphs set up.
2. The progression of the discussion is affected by your lack of properly arranged ideas even though you are presenting somewhat correct information within the paragraph.

3. There is an obvious lack of properly used cohesive devices.

In terms of your lexical resource, expect another 4 based upon:
1. An obvious limited vocabulary range which could have been better helped by the presence of a dictionary or thesaurus while you were developing your essay.

2. Your inability to form simple, understandable sentences really caused your self-expression to be incomprehensible to the reader. Hence, there as no way to properly understand what you were trying to explain in some paragraphs, specifically paragraph 2.

3. The passages were not easy to understand and left the reader wondering as to what you were actually trying to say due to the lack of proper word usage in developing your sentences / paragraphs.

Grammar accuracy and range in my opinion would only be a 4. Reasons for this are as follows:
1. There is a limited range of sentence structures presented in the essay. The sentences often do not follow the proper sentence development rules.
2. The errors in sentence development are simply too numerous. The grammatical errors contained in the essay make it extremely difficult for the reader to understand what you are trying to say even after having read the passage twice or 3 times.

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