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IELTS Being a volunteer in the community is not rare among high school students


Wendyli 2 / 2  
Feb 24, 2014   #1
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children).

To what extent do you agree or disagree?


Being a volunteer in the community is not rare among high school students. It is recommended by some experts that it should be a mandatory part of the high school curriculum. There has been much discussion as to the issue.

The first argument in its favor is that unpaid community service can be beneficial to high school students. It can foster their sense of responsibility for the society where they live and teach them to be a caring and loving person. When the students make a contribution and see how they can make a difference to their neighborhood, they can accomplish a sense of fulfillment as well.

Another argument the supporters give is that the recommendation matches the purpose of education. Education should not just focus on the acquisition of knowledge from the textbooks. Instead, it should teach children how to be an all-rounded citizen. Volunteering in a community can help achieve this ultimate goal. A variety of skills can be honed during this process, such as leadership, communication skills, team spirit, time management etc. Thus, it is necessary for students to be obliged to do unpaid community service.

In addition, the involvement of some charity work alike can somehow improve the fitness level of the students. Since the computer emerged, many people have lived a sedentary lifestyle. High school students are no exceptions. Volunteering in the community can prevent them from sitting in front of the little screen all day long, which definitely will do good to their health .

Admittedly, considering the tight timetable high school students normally have, doing voluntary work may increase their workload and cause some stress. However, in the long term, this experience can be rewarding for them. It is worth the time and the efforts they invest in .

Serapke 8 / 14  
Feb 24, 2014   #2
The first argument in its favor

I find this part quite confusing. The last thing you mentioned was 'issue', so what you really say is 'The first argument in issue's favor... '.

Another argument the supporters give is that the recommendation matches the purpose of education. Education should not just focus on the acquisition of knowledge from the textbooks. Instead, it should teach children how to be an all-rounded citizen. Volunteering in a community can help achieve this ultimate goal. A variety of skills can be honed during this process, such as leadership, communication skills, team spirit, time management etc. Thus, it is necessary for students to be obliged to do unpaid community service.


I think, this paragraph is really very good. Thumbs up for that.
montegrappa 3 / 12  
Feb 24, 2014   #3
Hi dear,

It seems that in the first para you did not state your own idea?
In my humble opinion, stating your own points of views along with the background information might help.

Hope it helps :]
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Feb 26, 2014   #4
There has been much discussion as to the issue.

...

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Well, as per the prompt you need to express your opinion about the issue. It is always good to state your opinion in a clear statement before concluding your introduction instead of writing vague sentences that do not give an idea as to which view you hold.

Although you need to improve on the structure, it seems you have good writing skills :)
SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Feb 26, 2014   #5
it should be a ...

where ''it'' refers to ?

to high school students.

to + v1

should not just

modal + v1


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