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Couple questions to answer - global trade, kids at work, unpaid community service


aidafitria18 9 / 14 1  
Aug 25, 2016   #1
"As global trade increases, many goods including those we use on a daily basis, are produced in other countries and have to be transported long distances.

Do the benefits of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?"


These days, many goods that we use on a daily basis are more needed. The increases global trade make country produce some product that have to be transported to long distances. It makes some countries can produce their best product and compete in global trade. It can be a chance to make an international connection and increase the country income.

"In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as valuable work experience.

Discuss both opinions and give your opinion."


Some countries engage the children to be a paid worker. Many people give opinions about this case. Some of them agree that it can be a work experience while others regard this to be wrong. Children usually decide to work to help the family financial or to get an extra money. But in their ages, children are not supposed to work because they still have to focus on their education, and it's the better for their future.

"Unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood, or teaching sports to younger children).

To what extent do you agree or disagree?"


Unpaid community service like working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood, or teaching sports to younger children have to be a compulsory part of high school programs because it can be a valuable experience for them. The support for this program is really needed. The school and community have to work together to make the program run well.
TJLuschen - / 241 203  
Aug 25, 2016   #2
Hi, are these for the TOEFL? If so, these will not score very well, since the graders are expecting complete essays, hopefully of more than 300 words each. They expect a 4 or 5 paragraph essay with an introduction, two or three body paragraphs each supporting a reason for your argument with details and specific examples, and then a conclusion. Here are my corrections to your writing though.

These days, many goods that we use on a daily basis are more needed. {"are more necessary" sounds better, but it is still unclear - more than what? more than earlier? Why?} The increase[ in] global trade [has encouraged countries to] produce some product[s ] that have to be transported [over] long distances. It [allows] some countries [to] produce their best product[s ] and compete in global trade.

... connection and increase the country['s] income. {I think it is better to directly answer the prompt in your thesis statement - do the benefits or trade outweigh the drawbacks? - oh wait, this is it? This is not really a complete essay.}

... the children to be a paid worker[s ]. Many people give {"have" seems better}opinions about this case.
... work to help the family financial[ly] or to get an extra money. But [at] their [age], children are not supposed (...) focus on their education, [so] it's the better for their future [to go to school rather than work].

... or teaching sports to younger children ha[s ] to be a compulsory ...


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