Please can you give me feedback about my TOEFL ESSAY.
Holidays honor people or events. If you could create a new holiday,what person or event would it honor and how would you want people to celebrate it? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
Holidays have a good effect on intelligent beings, therefore every country has national holidays to make people fun and relax such as Halloween, New Year's Day, Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. From my perspective, if I have a chance to create a new holiday, I would create "engineer day" and I would let them not go work for one day. I have some reasons about it.
To begin with, it is a well known fact that engineers have a difficult job. They start working hard at college, moreover they continue to work hard when they graduated. Nowadays, countries make lots of investments to gain competitive advantage and engineers have a crutial role for this. In my opinion, government should make some activities such as holiday for the engineers. May be engineers come together in special places with their families and my be they can buy everything very cheaper in there. For example, employees do not work in labor day and day come together in a city square. They want their rights to be better. Engineer day should be as labor day. Engineers should have a opportunity to tell their troubles, pressıres to the government.
In addition to previous point, the holiday will be a good opportunity for many people to relax and rejuvenate their spirits,Engineers should work in good conditions to be beneficial for their country. On the one hand, engineers earn much money. On the other hand they have to work hard, therefore they need some relaxation to do their job well. In my own experience, I am a computer engineer and I am always busy, as a result I do not have enough time to handle my social life properly. I could not spend enough my time with my family regarding to my job. If there is a engineer day, I would spend all my time with my wife and children. I could also consider I am valuable for my country, due to the fact that engineers have a special day.
All in all, engineers are very important for the future of a country and their problems should be considered. That is not to say, of course, other occupations are not important, however engineering has a vital role for the future of the country because of the reasons that I thought.
Holidays honor people or events. If you could create a new holiday,what person or event would it honor and how would you want people to celebrate it? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
Holidays have a good effect on intelligent beings, therefore every country has national holidays to make people fun and relax such as Halloween, New Year's Day, Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. From my perspective, if I have a chance to create a new holiday, I would create "engineer day" and I would let them not go work for one day. I have some reasons about it.
To begin with, it is a well known fact that engineers have a difficult job. They start working hard at college, moreover they continue to work hard when they graduated. Nowadays, countries make lots of investments to gain competitive advantage and engineers have a crutial role for this. In my opinion, government should make some activities such as holiday for the engineers. May be engineers come together in special places with their families and my be they can buy everything very cheaper in there. For example, employees do not work in labor day and day come together in a city square. They want their rights to be better. Engineer day should be as labor day. Engineers should have a opportunity to tell their troubles, pressıres to the government.
In addition to previous point, the holiday will be a good opportunity for many people to relax and rejuvenate their spirits,Engineers should work in good conditions to be beneficial for their country. On the one hand, engineers earn much money. On the other hand they have to work hard, therefore they need some relaxation to do their job well. In my own experience, I am a computer engineer and I am always busy, as a result I do not have enough time to handle my social life properly. I could not spend enough my time with my family regarding to my job. If there is a engineer day, I would spend all my time with my wife and children. I could also consider I am valuable for my country, due to the fact that engineers have a special day.
All in all, engineers are very important for the future of a country and their problems should be considered. That is not to say, of course, other occupations are not important, however engineering has a vital role for the future of the country because of the reasons that I thought.