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4 creteria: Coherence and cohesion, Lexical resource, Grammar, Task respond and comment



wind0111 2 / -  
Aug 20, 2017   #1
For a century, there has been taught in reading, writing and maths. With the given of computer technology, some people think that there would be fourth skill which should be taught as beneficial skill for children as school: computer skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Just decades ago, literacy and numberacy play a vital role in the early stage of teaching for children. Nowadays, under the outbreak of the digital revolution, some people agrue that computer skills become beneficial skill for preschoolers. I completely agree with this view.

There are important reasons why teaching children using the computer are essential. Firstly, being able to learn on a computer has opened up new ways for preschoolers to develop academically, especially those who struggle with a learning disorder. Countless website are created, which offer reading and math interventions for students with specific disabilities. Whereas, it take teachers long hours to find a method to help hard-to-reach children, the computer provides ready-man activities and interactive games to imtermediate use. A good example for this is Window eyes, which allows transfer text, numbers,... on the desktop to braiile using for the blind.

On the other hand, it is a great benefit for children to study about other countries, their people and their culture enviroment, it is instills in them sense of comunication and tolerance. Because of computers and the Internet, our world is closely linked more than it has ever been in another century. Children are not only able to access to multi culture and countries, but they completely talk to friends in beyond the boundary by helpful tools namely: facebook, email, skype... For instance, children can also use computers to communicate with members of their extended family, and in case a move, kids can keep in touch with their old friends.

In conclusion, I would agrue that computer skills become the fourth skill should be taught as beneficial skill for kids in preschool.

[Word count: 277]

sarahna 4 / 10  
Aug 20, 2017   #2
Hi wind0111,

Is the essay requirement correct? In my opinion, there are basic grammar errors in this topic which then affect your essay...

For example, I may rewrite some details in the introduction as followed: "Just decades ago, literacy and numberacy played a vital role in the early stage of teaching for children. Nowadays, under the outbreak of the digital revolution, some people agrue that computer skills have become a beneficial skill for preschoolers schoolchildren. I completely agree with this view."

You should pay attention to word choice and avoid grammar errors...

I hope that the above comment may help you.

S


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