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any criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. cause and solutions



Nguyen Hoai Ngoc 1 / -  
2 days ago   #1
People hold an opinion that the majority of lawbreakers perpetrate a series of crimes after they complete the prison period; however, they are eliminated from jail. This essay will shed light on the various causes arising from this issue and propose several solutions to mitigate these consequences.

Several reasons arise in this trend. Many support the view that many inmates suffer from mental illnesses and are properly untreated in prison; therefore, they maintain those negative conditions. For example, because psychopaths tend to use tranquilizers on a daily basis to control their unconscious actions in prison. Another key is most of the prison system concentrates on diverse punishments. This leads to a lack of rehabilitation in prison. For instance, a great number of convicts are exploited terribly in lieu of participating in fundamental skills training or mental health support. As a result, the rate of crimes significantly soar as soon as they finish their prison period.

Nevertheless, there are a multitude of remedies for this matter. To begin with, the government has budgeted to invest significant amount of funds in facilities and health care in the jail. For example, psychological medicals, machines, and decent doctors could aid patients in improving their symptoms in local gaols. In addition, since many suffer from penalties without education, it is essential to implement physical and mental training. For example, first-aid skills and moral standards might be taught and guided by doctors from universities.

To sum up, the trend of committing is much more crimes than before including mental health and a lack of rehabilitation in prison. Hence, the government should reorder and prioritize education and support finances for facilities.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15451  
2 days ago   #2
I am afraid that the vocabulary usage in this essay is quite problematic. The essay does not require the advanced word usage in this case because the advanced word usage overemphasizes the discussion. Most of the time, the words are used somewhat out of context, leading to a more dramatic, but irrelevant discussion sentence. It is better for you to use simple, everyday words so that the discussion flows much smoother and avoids any and all exaggerations.

The writer will not receive a score for the writer's opinion section because there was no opinion given in response to the 2 guide questions in summary form. The repeat of the discussion instructions did not fulfill the preliminary TA scoring requirement so the paragraph will receive a lower score than expected.

While the discussion paragraphs are valid and carry good topic sentences, it lacks in actual discussion development. That is because the writer focused on anchor topic presentations instead of a single anchor topic, then a full development of the paragraph in relation to the given anchor topic. The essay could then be judged to be under developed and will receive the corresponding score.


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