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In some cultures, children are often told that thay can achieve anything if they try hard enough.



TOM PARKER 1 / -  
Jan 18, 2024   #1
Prompt: help me enhance my writting. Please

In this modern world, juveniles are usually told that they can gain achivements when they have a hard-working proccess. As far as i am concerned, this essay has both favourable and unfavourable effects, but the possitive sides far outweigh the negative ones.

On the one hand, it's evident that this message will bring some consequences. Firstly, this kind of encouragement words can easily put pressures on kids. In some cases, childrens desire a hight point in certain subjects, and therefore they not only spend most of their time studying , but also ignore relaxing or sleeping time, which is very treacherous for their physical health. Secondly, telling them that they should work hard may prevent them from socializing their friends. These children may devote all their efforts and time into their dream, leavng spend time playing with their peers.

In contrast, this statement also have some advantages for adolescents. To begin with, this advice create a significant motivator which foster their inner potential. juveniles with strong motivation can easily gain their aim and help them push their limits. Furthermore, they may also experience personal growth in yhe proccess. When they commit to their goal, they learn to become more accountable and resourceful in order to make it a reality. Abilities like these can be valuable in their personal as well as their future professional lives.

In conclusion, this message are multifaceted with both of benefits and drawbacks. It help children develop their potential ability and success in life, but it also put kids into a rough circumstances with a host of burdens and challenges.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15347  
Jan 20, 2024   #2
but the possitive sides

There is no need to include this in the summary paragraph. You are not being asked to give a personal opinion. This will not be considered in the scoring process. Well, it will be considered, as a deduction since you did not follow the writing instructions as provided. Therefore, points will be deducted for an improper response format.

The summary conclusion is also incorrect as it does not summarize the previous discussion points. This created an open ended essay that will result in an automatic failing score. The essay can only be considered completed when the reverse summary properly recaps the previous discussion points and presents the original topic, rephrased, to the examiner.


Home / Writing Feedback / In some cultures, children are often told that thay can achieve anything if they try hard enough.
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