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Data commentary about the growth of 3G phones and total phones



sonofgod229 1 / 3  
Sep 10, 2010   #1
Hi everyone , I'm a new member and really need help for my writing since I just can check for myself about grammar but nonetheless it's pretty hard to find the promising meaning of the sentence i wanna explain . Here is an example of my recent practice , thanks for reading and giving me a great comment . Sorry for not supporting readers the graph as i just wrote it follow a sample paper

The two graphs reveal the development of 3G phones in comparison with total phones between December 2003 and December 2010 .

Overall, although the total phones increased rapidly in the first 3 years from 15.7 million to 19.5 million, there was merely slight change in the performance of 3G phones from 87,000 to 749,000. However, 3G phones grew substantially in the next year 2006 and reached a peak at 13 million in 2010 . It can be seen clearly from the graph that with the first introduction Hutchinson 3 service the growth of 3G phones was still slow at 87,000 compared to 15.7 million in total phones. Nevertheless, after the launch of 3 well-known brands namely Optus , Telstra and Vodaphone in 2005 , 3G phones had increased dramatically in just 1 year from 749,000 to 2.5 million in 2006 . The trend in total phones seemed to stagnate from 19.5 million to 20 million at that year . In the period from 2006 to 2010 there was an explosion in the number of people using 3G phones and the 3G phones rocketed to 13 million which is approximately sixfold from 2006 . Likewise , total phones gradually went up from 20 million to 23 million .

There could be a possible explanation from the data is that the significant impact of three enormous brands has broadened phone users's minds by offering a diverse range of attractive services such as internet applications as well as online games . As a consequence, 3G phones will be most likely to overwhelm the phone market and there would be an increasingly sluggish growth in total phones in next decades .

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Sep 12, 2010   #2
Is this about the total number of phones manufactured? About the total number sold?

Overall, although the total number of phones manufactured increased rapidly...

The two graphs reveal the development of 3G phones in comparison with total phones between December 2003 and December 2010 .(in what countries?)

A possible explanation for this data is that the significant impact of three enormous brands has broadened phone users' minds by offering a diverse range of attractive services such as internet applications as well as online games .

Notice that the apostrophe works like this with users:
user's
or
users'
but not users's
OP sonofgod229 1 / 3  
Sep 12, 2010   #3
Thanks mod very much ! Since the gragh does not support clearly information therefore to be honest I do not know exactly . I will be carefull with apostrophe next time . Do u think whether using apostrophe is formal or not ?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Sep 14, 2010   #4
Do u think whether using apostrophe is formal or not ?

Apostrophes are used in contractions, and that makes the writing informal.
He can't win the game because he didn't practice enough.
To be formal, it is better to write:
He cannot win the game, because he did not practice enough.

Apostrophes are ALSO used to show possession:
He knows Bob's guitar belongs to Bob, because the guitar was in Bob's room with his other possessions.
WHEN AN APOSTROPHE IS USED TO SHOW POSSESSION, it is not informal.

...has broadened phone users' minds by offering...---- this is not informal.

:-)


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