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Essay about a day in the life of a breakdancer or bboy - feedback


thomascb 1 / -  
May 2, 2011   #1
Hello I'm new to all of this but if someone could help me with my finals paper that would be great. It's a day in the life of paper and the only guidelines to it are that it needs to be 5 pages or more long and have a works cited page. It is past 5 pages and the works isn't done yet, but other than that if someone could help me with grammar, phrasing, or anything at all to make my paper better today, I would appreciate it.

Clyde Thomas
ENG-102
Prof. Johnson
04/12/2011
Bboy: A Day In the Life Of
These days bboying or break dancing attracts much attention. It has been around since the beginning of hip-hop. I recently interviewed the Lexington Undaground Titans crew on the subject who explained everything, from dancing as a language, to specific rituals and even competitions. In effect, they have shown that break dancing has a style of sub-culture all its own. Through their eyes, it ultimately proves an enriching experience.

Two members, Carlos and Karina, greeted me with open arms and showed me to his Dad's garage. As I walked in Rudy, Jason, and Brian, the remaining three members, were already practicing. "With bboying, people communicate with gestures and special poses," Carlos explained as I watched in awe. He and Karina then proceeded to mention how bboying began in the 80's as an alternative to violence. It was a way of settling differences without the use of weapons while exploring the deeper aspects of dancing. Among these aspects are expression, or an individual's personality, and theme, the concept a dancer tries to communicate. In fact, this method of conversing is still popular today with other dances, including krumping, popping, and locking (Leexan Hong).

When asked about the learning process, the group had varied answers. Jason replied, "I just used Youtube." Youtube is an online video site where many people view documentaries, movie clips, and, in this case, tutorials. Rudy and Carlos responded that they had seen somebody doing it and were interested enough to read about it and learn together. Karina, being Carlos' girlfriend, learned from him and Brian learned by mistake. As he remembers, "Yeah, I was just clowning around and walking on my hands a lot when I was bored and people started thinking I was a break dancer; so I learned about it." I tried my best to do a handstand after this and failed. The members chuckled at first, but then gave me a few words of encouragement. Not only that, each member was intrigued by the benefits of bboying. For example, Jason found it to be a good source of exercise because it works the entire body. In contrast, Brian believed it to be a potential career and achieve fame and fortune with it. Taking all of this in, we moved to the subject of how clothing comes into play.

In all of their experiences, the standard has always been clothing that allows flexibility. Jason added that, "As long as it allows you to move the way you want without chaffing or burning your skin, you can wear what you want." So if a participant wanted, he or she could wear bell-bottom pants with flip-flop sandals as long as there's no hindering of movement. However, most bboys and girls prefer slim or sweat pants with a shirt and light-weight shoes (specifically pumas, converse or addidas). In particular, Karina mentioned, "I like elastic jeans... they give me the freedom I need and the style I love." Karina clarified that she meant wearing clothing that helps express a concept helps distinguish one dancer from other dancers. Some dancers take it a step further and wear caps, especially beanies to perform harder techniques like head-spins and anything involving contact between one's head and the floor. Another factor to consider with clothing is where dancing takes place. For example, should a person wish to dance on a rough surface, such as concrete or cobble-stone, he or she would wear long-sleeve clothing so as to prevent scraping or bruising the skin. "People should also consider with clothing is the weather conditions of the area" Brian declared. Should a dancer choose to dance outside when it's cold or inside a room where there's bad ventilation, the person needs to dress appropriately (Hip Hop Dance). By evening time, we had moved to the importance of music in relation to bboying.

Karina and Rudy stated that music plays a huge role, however, it can be very diverse. Back in the 80's, the only music compatible with break dancing was hip hop. However, bboy music today consists of hip hop, funk, house, alternative rock, and more, often including Dj scratches on records and alternate voice-overs (The Element). When dancing, the music being played determines the mood and often a dancer's theme. For example, if a person is listening to older musicians like Isaac Hayes or James Brown, he or she might be influenced to display a more old school funky style. Just the same, someone listening to house music may have a disco style of dancing. When I asked if he could play some T.I. or some Eminem he remarked, "That's another thing. The lyrics. When you're playing music around an audience, especially children and parents, you have to be sensitive with the lyrics." I believe he was trying to say that some onlookers are sensitive to lyrics. He then proceeded to recall a past incident where he was playing music at a friend's house that had cursing in it. So when the parents heard that they told him not to come over for a while. In addition, playing curse music at showcases, competitions, churches or around big crowds with children gives the wrong idea. People begin thinking that break dancing is associated with drugs, crime, or worse (PRLog). With that we all stopped to get some food.

Just as we were getting the food, I found myself questioning was there a particular kind of food bboys and girls ate. When I saw that everybody had grabbed some kind of nutritional food I had to wonder why. Karina mentioned, "Why not?... Nutritional food, like apples, salad without dressing, and grilled meats are good for your health and eating the recommended three meals a day with a snack in between helps keep the metabolism up, which keeps you light for battles." She then went on to say, "Eating lighter meals as you go about your day also boosts your energy supply." Ruddy separately responded, "The best way to prepare your body for dancing, even more so than exercise, is organic foods, organic foods, organic foods." All in all, I found the simplest answer to be avoiding those foods with fat and high in calories that contribute to obesity in America, especially McDonald's. Still another way of going about eating is avoiding meals after 7pm. This gives the body a little time to digest foods before the person sleeps so the food doesn't sit and turn into fat. Upon finishing my grilled fish and Gatorade we returned to the garage where the group opted to give me a first-hand experience.

As with any sub-culture, bboying has its own rituals and traditions. The crew members hold the most significant one to be stretching. As Jason added, "You can know about breaking, expression, eating, and music, but none of it's complete without proper stretching." This is because not stretching every part of a person's body thoroughly before each session can lead to cramping and muscle tearing. In other words, not stretching causes a person to eventually move like an 80-year-old in their 30's (Brian). As I neared the end of my stretching, we discussed the foundations.

Carlos thought it would be a good idea to give me a visual of the main positions. He continued, "Every bboy or girl must know the basic foundations of break dancing... Those are top rock, footwork and freezes and without one of them a person cannot consider themselves a true breaker." The others then helped me to get into the top rock position. Toprock is the primary basic and entails dancing from a standing position. In this foundation, the dancer expresses him or herself while crossing one foot over the other at some point or another in harmony with the beat of a song. Then Ruddy and Brian put me in position to perform footwork. Footwork usually focuses on a dancer's use of a move called the "6-step". During this motion, the person transitions from a push-up position to a crab position and back in 6 steps, hence the name. This is the technique used most when moving from a standing position to a floor dance. It took me about twelve tries before I got it right. Jason identified the final basic as, "the ending of an expression in a match."

The final foundation, freezing, deals with finishing as stylishly as one began. This is when a dancer balances his or herself on one or more limbs, be they an arm, an arm and a leg, a knee and a leg, or otherwise. It ranges anywhere from handstands, to single arm push-up stands, to contortion techniques (Hip Hop History). They had me try the headstand for a bit, but we took a break and moved on to competing when my arms got tired. In the next exercise, I tried out everything I had learned. "Competitions and showcases are all about putting what you've learned into execution ," Ruddy remarked. "So I want you practice battle Brian." While I battled him using the combine top rock, footwork, and freezes I had learned, the other members clapped for me. I noticed myself doing better the more the clapped. They said that's common and when it happens that the crowd likes what a person can do and clap, the person feels energized and tends to perform that much better. It was fun, but it will be a while before I can try again. Sadly, my time with the Undaground Titans had come to a close, but they were willing to leave me with one last lesson. "No matter how experienced, skilled, flexible, skinny, big, or whatever... no one bboy or girl is better than any other one," (Ruddy). By this, they were referring to the fact that no two people are exactly alike and because of this one can't technically compare the two on fair grounds. For example, dancer A has a more developed top rock and dancer B has better footwork. If the two battle, you can judge one in a competition to be better at his or her style than the other is at his or her style, but not on the same level. It's the same as saying a person with a month's training can be judged on the same grounds as a person with five year's worth. They cannot be judged on the same on the same level of skill or experience.

In retrospect, I was intimidated at first, but when I got a better understanding of it and even participated a little, it felt like a whole new world of adventure. This project demonstrates that bboying is an enlightening experience as it allows one to explore a new level of the art of life.

Works Cited Page
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
May 4, 2011   #2
Through their eyes, it ultimately proves an enriching experience.

Hi Clyde, this sentence is at the end of the first paragraph, and I don't think it is a good way to end the first paragraph. You need to give a sentence at the end of the first paragraph that will punch the reader in the face with the real MESSAGE of your whole essay, the main idea. Can you sum that main idea up in a sentence?

When you use a quote, you don't need THAT:
Jason added that , "As long as it...

bboying is an enlightening experience as it allows one to explore a new level of the art of life.

This seems to be the main point, but this could be said of any art. I think you can improve the whole essay by adding some sentences to the first and last paragraph to SHARPEN the thesis of the paper. An essay had one big idea, and it must be explained in the intro and conclusion.

:-)


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