These days, in many countries, fewer and fewer people want to become teachers in secondary schools

becoming high school teachers is losing its popularity

Teaching used to be one of the most appealing and rewarding job, but nowadays many countries are facing teachers shortage issue, especially in elementary school. In this essay, I will discuss the main reasons which lead to this problem, and solutions to solve it.

First of all, low salaries might be one of the main reasons why more and more people are reluctant to join teaching industry. In comparision, teachers earn less than those who work in other career such as financial, construction and technology. In some nations, instructors' salary barely covers the necessities in life. As a result, they had to find another part-time jobs or even provide extra classes to earn more money for their families, which make they feel exhausted. A solution is for the government to increase teachers' salary and give more remuneration so that their lives can be ensured. For example, in Singapore, the government has granted a variety of welfare for teachers, thus, being teachers is one of the top choice for new graduates.

The problem could also be ascribed to the highly burden of work that schools and parents are posed on teachers. It is common that an instructor work more than eight hours per day programming the class curriculum , marking students' performances and lecturing. However, their contributions are usually be left when a student failed the exams as the public used to blame on teachers' teaching skills despite the fact that students have to take responsible for their study. Consequently, some instructors might feel stresses, and even find it more difficult to maintain a work - life balance. The way forward might be to apply technology to help with the work load. Also, creating a community for teachers to share their work- life stories could help reduce job difficulties and motivate more people to join this industry.

To conclude, teachers shortage is now becoming one of the biggest issues facing education. However, this problem can be solved if the government provide better policies and raise people acknowledge of teachers' high society status.

The first sentence is a run-on. Try to limit your sentences to a true mix of simple and complex presentations. the constant use of commas in a presentation results in a run-on which will cause GRA deductions in your score. There is a need for a proper thesis statement in the last part which will offer a response to the question, while also allowing the reader to understand what question you were asked and responded to. It is not enough to simply repeat the instructions in that section. In an actual academic paper, you will need to be able to properly cite your case, reasons, and solutions. That is what the examiner is looking for. Evidence that you know how to write in the UK and US academic standards.

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Well, I would like to have some feedback on your writing.
1/ You have made a big mistake in your restatement. The topic is about "secondary schools", not "elementary school".
2/ You were really careless in your writing. There are a huge number of spelling and grammar mistakes that surely will reduce your score. I will just mention a few of them: comparision -> comparison; highly -> high; teachers shortage -> teacher shortage.

3/ You could take into consideration element relating to word choice in your essay, such as 'join teaching industry' should be 'enter the teaching profession' or "designing the lesson plan" rather than "programming the class curriculum" as to "program" is to "write a series of instructions that make a computer perform a particular operation" (from a online dictionary).