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These days, electronic media are commonly used by people in the world



ifraanisa05 44 / 67  
Nov 1, 2016   #1
The use of electronic media has negative effects on personal relationships between people.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?


In the recent years, electronic media commonly used by people in the hemisphere. One of negative effects has shown which is personal relationship become interrupted. In my view, i extent to agree because direct communication is more important than communication which is used electronic media

Handphone is a common technology which is used by people to communicate without seeing each other.This type of indirect communication has an advantage such as we can communicate with colleagues have a distance with us. We can keep in touch with them using social media. For example, people who work far away from their family hang them life to their phone because that is the only way so that people can communicate with family or colleagues from distance.

On the other hand, using handphone usually make people less aware of people around them. Feeling happy with their own world through their handphone. Because of handing the gadget, they can forget people around them. For instance, people who come to the mall for little reunion with friends, ending to talk with their handphone and do not talk to each other. That is the reason why electronic media can ruin our relationship with others. As a result, Because of high technology attraction, people become uncared with their surroundings.

In conclusion, it is true that electronic media can take care of relationship among colleagues in distance. However, the negative effect of using electronic media is more problematic. I suggest to using the electronic media wisely so that we can divide time for people around us.

faizunaa17 49 / 66  
Nov 2, 2016   #2
Hi Ifra

In the recent years, electronic media is commonly used by people in the hemisphere

1) Well, hemisphere usually use for scientific purpose for example astronomy. It not proper if you paraphrase "world" with hemisphere in that topic of your essay

2) negative sentence ---> is + commonly + used

Handphonehand phone is a common technology which ...

3) The correct is you must add space between hand and phone

... people less aware ofto the people around them because they feel Feeling happy with their own ...

4) it more appropriate and linked each other

, people become uncared withuncared for their surroundings.

5) uncared + for ---> look at the Cambridge .

Common Suggestion : REPETITON OF HAND PHONE IS TOO MUCH ---. Paraphrase it with MOBILE / MOBILE PHONE / SMART PHONE / or you can mention the brand iPHONE / ANDROID


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