Please help me review my ielts writing task 2
Today, parents spend little free time with their children.
Why is it the case? Who are more affected? Parents or children?
These days, it is true that parents do not spend much time on their children. There are a number of reasons for this, and from my perspective, this tendency have more profound impacts on children than parents.
To begin with, the major reason why parents spend less time taking care of their offspring is that parents are busy working. In a modern society today, the high cost of living and increasingly competitive job market drive parents to become workaholics. This means that adults could undertake extended hours of work such as taking night shifts or working overtime and only return home till late at night. Therefore, it is really difficult for parents to set aside their quality time with their children. Furthermore, taking care of children sometimes take a great deal of effort and time, meanwhile, adults tend to take the rest of the day to unwind and recharge their batteries when coming back home as they experience a hard-working day. So, parents often let their offspring play with babysitters or technical gadgets such as smartphones, computers or tablets. This also explains why the time that parents spend on their children is increasingly little.
Children are more vulnerable to the detrimental effects of deficient interaction with their parents. This is because children are in the stage of shaping their personalities and behaviors, and therefore, very need the care and education from their parents. Without adequate supervision and advice of parents, children can easily go on the wrong track such as committing crimes, drug addiction. Even though children can suffer from psychological crisis or unexpected behavioral changes such as mood swings, depression, emotional distress, which could do harm to children's physical and mental health.
In conclusion, I think that parents today do not spend enough time for their children, which creates a more destructive effect on children than parents.