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(Writing Task 1) The debris created by three companies

dungqndt 1 / -  
Nov 15, 2022   #1

The line chart illustrates the debris created by three companies from 2000 to 2015.

It is clear that there has been a dramatic change in the amount of waste across all three companies. Between 2000 and 2015, the amount of waste produced by companies A and B decreased, while in contrast, that produced by company C significantly increased.

In 2000, the waste output of company A was 12 tonnes, which was three times as much as that of company C. At the same time, company B created about 8 tonnes, which was in the middle of companies A and B. In the next five years, the waste production of company A declined slightly from 12 to 11, while the amount of waste produced by companies B and C witnessed a sharp rise.

From 2005 to 2015, there was a rapid decrease in the waste output of companies A and B. On the contrary, company C produced much more waste production in this period. In 2015, the waste output created by company C rose rapidly, while the amount of waste produced by companies A and B went down significantly.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,410 4391  
Nov 15, 2022   #2
The student is not familiar enough with the English language to realize that there is a tremendous amount of word meaning difference between waste and debris:

Waste - trash, rubbish, discard, unusuable residue
Debris - the remains of anything broken down or destroyed; ruins; rubble

As such, the writer will be understood to have misinterpreted the topic as provided in the image. He must remember that word usage is heavily scored under the LR section. Therefore, he must use words based on accurate meaning rather than only synonym reference. Basing word usage on synonym usage alone could result in word usage errors such as this one.

The writer might also want to further develop his sentence structuring skills to include the usage of more varied punctuation marks to increase his GRA score. That is limited in this case by the interchangeable use of a comma and period only. This also reflects the lack of proper sentence variation in the presentation.

Good work on the reporting paragraphs though. The information is clear and easily understandable. Unfortunately, just having a good C+C score will not increase the overall / final score of the data analysis presentation.
DanielDang 5 / 8 1  
Nov 15, 2022   #3
I think the writer is lack of detailed number on the last paragraph, which could lead to a decrease in the overall score. You should add specific items, like percentage, to make your depiction clearer and more accurate.

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