Task 1 IELTS - Letter about defective kitchen product

Hello everyone, my name is Pedro and I'm from Portugal.

I need to pass the IELTS exam with 7 on each module in order to be able to immigrate to Australia. I already did the exam, bur unfortunately I missed it, probably cause I had no time to finish my writing exam (not enough word) and it wasn't probably good enough as well.

My grades were:
Reading: 8
Listening: 8
Speaking: 7.5
Writing: 6.5 (needed 7).

Now I'm going to repeat my exam and found this forums, hope you guys can help me out, therefore I will be posting some writing exercises I do at home to get some feedback.

Here's the first of them, a letter about some defective kitchen product bought from a shop:

"
Dear Mr. Paul Young,

I am writing to let you know that last week I bought a new dishwasher for my kitchen from you shop. Unfortunately it doesn't work as I expected.

When I turn on the machine, it emits a really strange sound, like if it was a Formula One car passing by at 200 mph. After being washed, my dished look dirtier than before and my silverware looks like it's made of brass instead of silver.

I tried to call your shop about this issue, but I was told there was nothing they could do unless the machine didn't work at all. I've even considered cutting some internal wires after hearing this, so that it stopped working and your company would then provide me with support.

Considering all of this, I would really appreciate that you would let me return the machine and receive a refund. These king of issues are really not acceptable, so, if you don't give me a refund, I will follow all the needed legal procedures to sue your company.

Best Regards,
Pedro
"

Thanks a lot in advance to all of you.

PBeltrao
Well, i think that your writting is realy good. However, in my opinion, you should focus more on tense. For example, if you tell about a story, you should use past tense rather than present simple tense.

+ When I turned on the machine, it emited a really strange sound, like a Formula One car passing by at 200 mph. After being washed, my dished looked dirtier than before and my silverware looked like it's made of brass instead of silver.

Thank you so much for your feedback, I will certainly take that in consideration.

I also just realized a few typos in my text (king instead of kind, dished instead of dishes...etc), so another thing I need to do is review what I write :)

Thanks once again,
Pedro