hi there.., here are my valuable insights.
the rise of scholarship to study
No, no, no.. you are not being asked to discuss how scholarship plays its role here, and therefore we can say that this essay is off-topic. By doing so, I am sure that this way will deduct your score when it comes to the real exam. It is mandatory that you have to peruse the question more closely to prevent your essay from off topic.
It is different from the previous years when the students tended to study in local university.
Compared to the previous years, more students today are more likely to study abroad.
Study overseas will give the benefits and drawbacks in the future which i will explain
in the following paragraphs .
What are the benefits and drawbacks? Say them exactly upfront so readers will grasp the following ideas based on the opening paragraph. Do not be such surprise here, you are in the wrong place.
As you did not present well-written an introductory paragraph, I may assume that this essay lacks task responses and coherence & cohesion. Reading sample answers as many as you can helps you improve your knowledge of IELTS essays. Not only this, your grammar and vocabularies are getting better. Hope this helps :D