IELTS Writing Task 2 - Degree Study Abroad

Hi friend, please give me writing feedback to improve my writing skill. Thank for your concern.. no more than 1 essay at a time please.

Task 2

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country.
Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?
You should use your own ideas, knowledge, and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence

This is no doubt that the number of students which study overseas increase dramatically since the rise of scholarship to study in another countries. It is different from the previous years when the students tended to study in local university. Study overseas will give the benefits and drawbacks in the future which i will explain in the following paragraphs.

Nowadays, there are a great number of scholarships supported by government or large company. Making a good connection is the main purpose of the scholarship. It will give advantages not only for the sponsor but also the student. The connection of two countries get many easiness to build cooperative in many sector and the student will improve their networking. For example, a plenty of student want to study overseas with LPDP scholarship funded by Indonesia government depict that their networking increase dramatically since they make a good connection with many students from other countries and promote Indonesia as a good destination to travel around world. Therefore, study abroad university will create their countries more popular than before.

However, study overseas will give drawbacks when student cannot control their awareness of the purpose of study. It can decrease their nationalism. As it can be seen that a lot of students who study abroad tent to dwelling in other country. They won't to back in their country because of the cutting-edge technology is good than their nation. Therefore, study overseas can drop the intellectual occupant which should help develop country to be better than before.

In conclusion to that, study abroad have benefits and drawbacks which should be pay attention to student before make a decision to continue their higher education in across the globe. The self emotional should be paid attention so they still love their country as much as possible. As consequently, after they finished their study. They will come back in their country and contribute their horizon to their society.

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  Task 1
  

hi there.., here are my valuable insights.


No, no, no.. you are not being asked to discuss how scholarship plays its role here, and therefore we can say that this essay is off-topic. By doing so, I am sure that this way will deduct your score when it comes to the real exam. It is mandatory that you have to peruse the question more closely to prevent your essay from off topic.


Compared to the previous years, more students today are more likely to study abroad.


What are the benefits and drawbacks? Say them exactly upfront so readers will grasp the following ideas based on the opening paragraph. Do not be such surprise here, you are in the wrong place.

As you did not present well-written an introductory paragraph, I may assume that this essay lacks task responses and coherence & cohesion. Reading sample answers as many as you can helps you improve your knowledge of IELTS essays. Not only this, your grammar and vocabularies are getting better. Hope this helps :D