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Writing task 2: People say that a country will benefit greatly if its students study abroad.


winxangle 1 / 2  
May 28, 2021   #1
Writing task 2:
People say that a country will benefit greatly if its students study abroad.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?



It can be argued that it is beneficial for a nation to let its students go oversea to pursue education from international environment. As far as I am concerned, I partly agree with this statement. Although the positivity can be observed through the international updated knowledege, a country may lose its best students.

On the one hand, when students study abroad, the new knowledge they absorb would benefit their own country. In fact, many developed nations such as USA, the UK have preceded with the major technological breakthoughs. Thus, if they learn the knowledge of these countries, they will adapt it and make the innovations. As a result, these innovations would change their country and give it an edge over other nations.

On the one hand, the phenomenon called brain drain could occur amoung every countries. To be specific, the large number of students who initially go internationally for educational purposes may decide to settle as a resident because of progressive living condition of other regions. Ultimately, the students' intellectual property might be no longer possessed by their home country. Consequently, the brain drain problem would have a big impact on their country's workforce.

In conclusion, despite the development of studying abroad is positive, I only partly agree with this. While a country would greatly gain the rich stream of knowledge, there is a chance to brain drain happening and inflicting its human resources. After thorough analysis this subject, it is believed that government should seek the viable solutions to curb this problem.
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May 28, 2021   #2
Although the positivity ...its best students.

Excellent work! Your opinion is clearly supported by discussion reasons. This will definitely boost your TA score based on discussion response format.

Sadly, your reasoning paragraph is where your error occurred. Your first reasoning paragraph represents reasons why students should study abroad in a positive light. You should have used some negative aspect or spin to make the paragraph support your opinion. Remember you always need to present 2 reasons backing up your opinion. Spin it. Make a positive for a student a negative for the country. Never say it has benefits for the country because you should still be on the "partly disagree" reasoning line.

After thorough analysis ...curb this problem.

Never present an unrelated personal opinion or suggestion in your reverse paraphrase. Always stick to the basic preceding discussion summary. Adding unrequired information will not increase your score but could be considered a score reduction reason.
May 28, 2021   #3
it is beneficial for a nation to let ...

=>> A nation can benefit from letting its students pursue education in an international environment.

when students study abroad, the new ...

=>> when studying overseas, pupils get an opportunity to approach the latest knowledge in that country.

breakthoughs

I think it should be 'breakthroughs'

I hope my feedback helpful for you


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